TWW – Just Stop Trying and It Will Happen…

Tag: TWW

Crosshairs

Monday, January 7th, 2013. CD17, 3DPO

Howdy, friends!

I figured I should probably throw an update out to the masses, since I’ve been a lazy blogger the past week.

There’s not a whole lot to report, but I did get my FertilityFriend chart crosshairs today. According to FF, it looks like I ovulated on Friday at some point and am now 3DPO. I’m a little miffed at my alleged ovulation date, as I have almost always ovulated within 24 hours of triggering. This cycle, I was still having lots of lovely EWCM even late in the afternoon on Friday!

It wouldn’t be a big deal if the husband and I had better timed out our “encounters”, however our success on Wednesday and Thursday lulled us into a false sense of security, and by Friday night we were both completely exhausted and it just didn’t happen.

Hopefully Thursday’s swimmers decided to hang out and catch a late train…. sheesh.

Aside from that, I’ve had some crappy side-effects from the meds increase this month, not the least of which is what the doc thinks is a mild case of OHSS (ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome). It definitely was a mild case, if that’s even what it was, but it was really, REALLY uncomfortable for a while. I was told to weigh myself ever few hours and stay off my feet, which I did most of the weekend, all while drinking an ungodly amount of sports drinks with electrolytes.

I feel better today, but am now having some digestive issues that are making it difficult to keep a smile on my face. At only 3DPO, I can’t really attribute this to anything related to my uterus, but part of me is hoping that some hormonal shift is taking place, and taking its toll on my tummy.

Despite everything that seems to have gone wrong this cycle, I do feel quite a bit more positive this month than last. Sometimes I can’t quite fathom how I have managed to stay positive at all for this long…

For the next week or so, I’ll just keep plugging along. I have lots of things to keep me busy at home and work, and I am temping and testing out the trigger (like a naughty girl!), so that gives me some feeling of control. The holidays are over, and I am starting to feel sane again.

I will likely revert to Radio Silence late next week as usual, but I’ll keep you all as updated as I can until then! 🙂

Have a fantastic week, friends!

January 7, 2013 3 Comments Short URLTTC, TWWCDaily

Status

You Suck.

Thursday, December 13th, 2012. CD17, 5DPO.

I’m already losing faith in this cycle.

Testing out the trigger?

No. Took the month off from that at the suggestion of my TTCBFF. I miss it, and not feeling like I have control SUCKS.

My temps?

Low. Like pre-ovulation-low. Suck.

My symptoms?

Nonexistent, and therefore, suck.

SUCK SUCK SUCK!

So anyway, now that that’s out of the way…

How about some updates?

I don’t have much. Like previously stated, this Two Week Wait has been pretty uneventful thus far.

My temps have been wonky and low, my boobs don’t hurt, and I don’t feel twingy like I did during my pregnancy/miscarriage cycle’s TWW.

The only thing that seems promising is that I’m freaking exhausted and I’m an eating machine. I realize both of those are probably entirely due to the increase in progesterone I likely have due to ovulating two mature eggies this cycle, but still… that’s all I have to hold onto.

I’m hoping that this weekend will bring some higher temps and giant, painful chesticles to renew my hope, but we shall see.

For now though, I’m just trying to enjoy this bustling, chilly time of year. The house is getting somewhere near order, I have Christmas shopping to finish this weekend, and my family is coming to Ohio to visit next weekend.

I’m thankful for our many blessings, and the blessed distractions that will (hopefully) keep me from obsessing about my every twinge and temp drop.

Happy holidays, everyone! 🙂

December 13, 2012 8 Comments Short URLChristmas, ttc after miscarriage, ttc in your 30s, two week wait symptoms, TWWCDaily

Status

Girl Gone Wild

Friday, August 10th, 2012. CD25, 7DPO.

Just like every single two week wait in existence, I have reached the point of crazy.

I am having constant conversations with myself trying to rationalize symptoms that may be caused by a whole heap of things not at all related to pregnancy, and yet I still find myself hopeful.

That is, until I remember that I’ve been hopeful before. And I was wrong then. Very wrong.

Either way, things are happening. This cycle is uncharted territory and I have no idea what to expect.

Here’s the extent of the crazy:

Nausea – I haven’t exactly tossed my cookies, but for the past 24 hours I have been feeling icky. Kinda like this empty pit in my stomach that food and drink can’t touch sort of feeling. Bleh.

Strange Temps – my BBT chart is all sorts of weird this cycle. Four straight days of flat temps, followed by a slight rise, and then today it dipped below the coverline. Ummm… What the French, toast?

Sore Lady Lumps – my boobies feel like hot needles are poking into them. For reals. Don’t poke them, don’t squeeze them, don’t even look at them. They hurt that much, although heightened progesterone seems to do that to me in every medicated cycle.

HPT Progression – I’ve been testing out the trigger as usual, but I’ve never done so with an Ovidrel trigger before. I expected it to vacate my system sooner, but it’s sticking around. And check out that last test, which was from this morning… Is it just me, or does it maybe look darker than yesterday’s?

And so, you can clearly see that I am crazy.

I can’t help obsessing. I’ve tried to curb it in the past, but the way I operate best seems to be balls-to-the-wall.

Feel everything completely, let go of the control, and let it all happen.

I can always pick up the pieces later…

*sigh*

Well, TGIF, friends! I have a fabulous weekend planned, and I hope you do too! 🙂

August 10, 2012 7 Comments Short URL7dpo, Menopur, Ovidrel, testing out the trigger, TWW, wondfo progressionCDaily

Status

The Flats

Wednesday, August 8th, 2012. CD23, 5DPO.

Soooooo… this is strange.

I have had weird, flat temperatures for the past four mornings.

Is something wrong with my thermometer?

Is something wrong with ME?

Anyone out there seen anything like this before?

My typical LP temps are up around this range normally, but they never just hang out at one spot like this. Especially not for days at a time.

So odd.

Other than this, and my boobs feeling like giant, painful bouncy-houses, nothing new here.

I’m still working on testing out the trigger, and will update once that bad boy starts to fade. Which might be daaaaaaays from now, because my stupid body holds onto stupid triggers for a stupid-long time.

Happy Hump Day, friends! 🙂

August 8, 2012 4 Comments Short URLBBT, flat temps, luteal phase, TWWCDaily

Status

Here We Are Again…

Saturday, August 4th, 2012. CD19, 1DPO.

I woke up this morning officially in the Two Week Wait.

Although this TWW is going to be rough, what with no monitoring whatsoever, and no beta scheduled unless Aunt Flo doesn’t show up in 14 days, I am happy to be in this slightly more low-key half of the cycle.

When I first met with Dr. K, he explained to me that he wanted me to do two or three cycles tops on the Femara + Menopur protocol. He is a fan of following the most current clinical study results out there, and he said the majority of studies have found that injectables tend to work best in the first three months, and chances for success after that take a rapid downturn.

He also doesn’t want to waste a ton of time with adjusting this protocol too much when the chances won’t be that much better. Based on this line of thought, I expect that if I don’t get pregnant using injectables, I will have to take a break in mid-October before moving onto the next step.

What will that next step be?

There has been some talk of a laparoscopy. We may check out what’s going on inside a bit more before moving onto IVF. It only makes sense…

After that? We could start the IVF process after the holidays.

It’s a lot to think about, especially since we have so much else going on right now with our crazy work schedules and attempting to buy our first house.

It’s a lot to think about, but the thought of buying a house that will never contain children is something I can’t face right now.

It’s a sobering thought. One that doesn’t feel real at this point.

I hope it never does.

For now though, I am trying to remain confident in Dr. K and this protocol, and am trying to urge my body to do what it needs to.

I’m sure that as the next two weeks go by, I will also be consulting Dr. Google about every little twinge as well as poking my poor boobies several times a day to see if they are sore.

I’ve never wished for anything as much as morning sickness!

May the next two weeks go quickly and with much distraction. 🙂

August 4, 2012 3 Comments Short URLtwo week wait, TWWCDaily

Status

Really?!

One year ago today, I charted a note about cloudy urine and some urine odor.

One year ago tomorrow, I charted about starting a course of antibiotics for a UTI.

I was on my first Femara + Ovidrel cycle then, and I started the antibiotic after I had ovulated.

Today, I noticed some cloudy urine and urine odor. I am hoping to ovulate later this week…

I’m calling Dr. K tomorrow to see what he recommends, but jeez… this isn’t looking good.

Anyone out there have any success stories about UTIs and/or antibiotics during ovulation/the TWW?

LOL.

As you can see, I am grasping at straws here. Just trying to cling to hope that ten days worth of shots to the belly-fat will not be for naught.

Ugh.

Tuesday, you are a bitch.

July 31, 2012 9 Comments Short URLantibiotic, Femara, Menopur, Ovidrel, TWW, utiTTC

Status

Happy TWOsday!

Tuesday, June 12th, 2012. CD23, 11DPO/10DPIUI.

Today’s a pretty good day.

Why?

Twin nephews!! 😀

Josh and Jace make Auntie Tracy an aunt six times over!

Someone told me at a party a couple weeks ago that holding a brand new baby on the day they are born is good luck in getting pregnant.

I hope that’s legit, because I’m gonna hold both of those little nuggets later today!

And, let’s be honest… I could really use some double-luck. 🙂

June 12, 2012 4 Comments Short URLAMIGOS, babies, IUI, nephews, TTC, TWWCDaily, Life, TTC

Status

New and Improved – Even More Crazy Per Pound!

Friday, May 18th, 2012. CD25, 11DPIUI.

Soooo… I really thought I was dealing with this cycle better than cycles past.

I had a plan for this Two Week ~~Torture~~ Wait… I’ve been staying busy, not paying such close attention to symptoms, and generally not planning for any outcome of the cycle – positive or negative.

And then?

And then the crazy came to town.

I don’t know who flipped the bitch-switch, but whoa. Today has been intense.

I know part of it is due to lack of sleep… I should have gone to bed earlier last night, and I just didn’t sleep very restfully despite having had an hour-long massage yesterday.

All I know is that I woke up this morning with my crankypants on, and as soon as I was vertical, I realized I had a killer ear ache. I don’t think I’ve had one of those since I was a kid! It was weird, and it only lasted an hour, but it was enough to make my day start out kinda iffy.

The husband drove me to work today so we could drop off his car at the shop for some minor repairs, so it was nice to be able to see him in the morning. That helped.

It also helped that today at lunchtime, we held a “baby shower” for a coworker who recently discovered an injured kitten in her driveway, took said kitten to the vet where one of his legs was amputated, and then adopted said kitten into her family! It was adorable, and I swear half the office was in attendance. What a spoiled little tripod that kitty’s going to be. 🙂

Okay, so by now I’m in a slightly better mood. The husband is taking me to a baseball game tonight, and while I don’t really care so much about the sport, I do love me some hot dogs. And sunshine. And boys in tight pants who bend over a lot. So there’s that.

As for the rest of the crazy, I think I finally started symptom-stalking. Or maybe lack-of-symptom-stalking…

I have almost no breast tenderness this cycle! That has been one of the worst, and most persistent side-effects of the Prometrium, and this month? Nothin’.

Totally weird.

There’s also the hunger. And thirst. Could be from the progesterone, I know…

The fatigue. Totally from the progesterone. Strike that one from the record.

I’ve been kind of sniffly/sneezy/stuffy lately. Along with that random, drive-by ear ache. But it’s allergy season in the Great White North, and though I’ve not suffered from them in the past, it would make sense that my age has caught up with me in that regard.

My back hurts. Real down low-like. Even after getting a massage… I’m just hoping that’s not Aunt Flo knocking at the door.

I just want this to work. I feel like if I want it too badly, I will somehow jinx myself. I feel like if I act too nonchalant, I will jinx myself.

I wish I knew where the word jinx came from. It’s fun to say, type, and look at… Hmm…

See?

Crazypants.

May 18, 2012 2 Comments Short URLAMIGOS, IUI, progesterone, prometrium, TTC, TWWCDaily, TTC

Gallery

I’m Okay, You’re Okay.

Friday, May 11th, 2012. CD18, 4DPIUI.

I really am okay.

Some days, notsomuch… but most days?

I’m okay.

Yesterday’s post was a bit on the dramatic side. Not because I was looking for attention or needed some TLC, but because I wanted to bring to light the way that so many on this journey feel on a daily basis.

I know there are some who truly suffer from depression, and there are those who have been told they will never have a child of their own ever.

I know there are those who self-medicate or harm themselves because they have no other way to deal with the struggle.

I’m okay.

I have it worse than many.

I have it better than many.

I count my blessings every day. I try to start and end my prayers with thanks, and squeeze that little bit of asking into the middle.

I may not have everything I want in life, but who does?

I may not have it all, but I’m okay.

I’ll be even more okay if I conceive this cycle, but hey… I can manage anything.

I swear. I’m okay. 🙂

May 11, 2012 0 Comments Short URLI'm okay, infertility, TTC, two week wait, TWWCDaily, Life

Up and Down

April 20th, 2012. CD25, 10DPIUI. The good news is that the trigger is finally OUT! Woo! The bad news is that now I’m panicking because there are no lines to speculate about. Ugh. And my temp has been on a steady decline the past couple of days… Double Ugh. I guess there