Tag: two week wait
Status

Here We Are Again…

Saturday, August 4th, 2012.  CD19, 1DPO.

I woke up this morning officially in the Two Week Wait.

Although this TWW is going to be rough, what with no monitoring whatsoever, and no beta scheduled unless Aunt Flo doesn’t show up in 14 days, I am happy to be in this slightly more low-key half of the cycle.

When I first met with Dr. K, he explained to me that he wanted me to do two or three cycles tops on the Femara + Menopur protocol.  He is a fan of following the most current clinical study results out there, and he said the majority of studies have found that injectables tend to work best in the first three months, and chances for success after that take a rapid downturn.

He also doesn’t want to waste a ton of time with adjusting this protocol too much when the chances won’t be that much better.  Based on this line of thought, I expect that if I don’t get pregnant using injectables, I will have to take a break in mid-October before moving onto the next step.

What will that next step be?

There has been some talk of a laparoscopy.  We may check out what’s going on inside a bit more before moving onto IVF.  It only makes sense…

After that?  We could start the IVF process after the holidays.

It’s a lot to think about, especially since we have so much else going on right now with our crazy work schedules and attempting to buy our first house.

It’s a lot to think about, but the thought of buying a house that will never contain children is something I can’t face right now.

It’s a sobering thought.  One that doesn’t feel real at this point.

I hope it never does.

For now though, I am trying to remain confident in Dr. K and this protocol, and am trying to urge my body to do what it needs to.

I’m sure that as the next two weeks go by, I will also be consulting Dr. Google about every little twinge as well as poking my poor boobies several times a day to see if they are sore.

I’ve never wished for anything as much as morning sickness!

May the next two weeks go quickly and with much distraction.  🙂

 

Gallery

I’m Okay, You’re Okay.

Friday, May 11th, 2012.  CD18, 4DPIUI.

I really am okay.

Some days, notsomuch… but most days?

I’m okay.

Yesterday’s post was a bit on the dramatic side.  Not because I was looking for attention or needed some TLC, but because I wanted to bring to light the way that so many on this journey feel on a daily basis.

I know there are some who truly suffer from depression, and there are those who have been told they will never have a child of their own ever.

I know there are those who self-medicate or harm themselves because they have no other way to deal with the struggle.

I’m okay.

I have it worse than many.

I have it better than many.

I count my blessings every day.  I try to start and end my prayers with thanks, and squeeze that little bit of asking into the middle.

I may not have everything I want in life, but who does?

I may not have it all, but I’m okay.

I’ll be even more okay if I conceive this cycle, but hey… I can manage anything.

I swear.  I’m okay.  🙂

Up and Down

April 20th, 2012.  CD25, 10DPIUI. The good news is that the trigger is finally OUT! Woo!   The bad news is that now I’m panicking because there are no lines to speculate about. Ugh.   And my temp has been on a steady decline the past couple of days… Double Ugh.   I guess there

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Status

36 Hours + 20 Questions = Crazy Person

July 24th, 2011.  CD16.

It’s official.  The thirty-six hour period after which I gave myself that wretched trigger shot has passed.  At some point in the past few days, I must have ovulated.  I’m in the Two Week Wait.

…Let the insanity begin.

...So this is what you get when you type "crazy" into Google Image Search... Hmm.

Oh, and just to drive home the whole “insanity” thing, let me wax philosophical about my chart for a minute.  …To be fair, it may be more than a minute, so get out now while you still can.

So, three days ago, the morning of my CD13 ultrasound, my BBT dipped pretty darn low.  I also had some gorgeous-looking EWCM that day, and the day before as well.  On CD14, my temp went up… Not extraordinarily high or anything, but still.  Up.  I had a teeny bit of EWCM early that morning, and then nothing thereafter.  This was also the day I triggered, after my little freak-out and subsequent conversation with Dr. Fran’s office.

Confused?  I’d be surprised if you weren’t.  (Obscure Harry Potter reference.  Hah.)

Allow me to create a timeline (of insanity), followed by a screenshot of the aforementioned chart:

Wednesday, July 20th, CD12 Lovely amount of EWCM, better quality than I ever recall seeing in past cycles.  Temp is normal/average.  Do the Dirty this evening.

Thursday, July 21st, CD13 – More EWCM; nice.  Temp dips to lowest point in cycle thus far.  Ultrasound shows 16mm follicle on the right side.  Plan is to DTD Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and trigger Saturday.  Afternoon OPK is negative.

Friday, July 22nd, CD14 – Teeny bit of EWCM in the morning, nothing the rest of the day.  Temp rises.  FMU comes up with positive OPK.  Freak out and call Dr. Fran, who tells me to trigger this evening instead.  Ovidrel shot of death, 8pm.  DTD a bit later in the evening.

Saturday, July 23rd, CD15 – CM is pretty much nonexistent at this point.  Temp rises yet again.  FMU comes up with positive OPK.  Attempt to DTD this evening, but a combination of heat, exhaustion, and a general feeling of unwell on the part of the husband make the outcome… umm… less than spectacular.  No check-mark for today.  Oops.

Sunday, July 24th, CD15 – What CM?  Temp maintains same level as yesterday; still high-ish, but no rise.  FMU comes up with positive OPK… Getting tired of that smug little smiley face.  Woke up the husband to DTD this morning, after which he rolled over and went back to sleep while I propped up my hips and Facebooked from bed.  Classy.

See what I mean?

Alright, so aside from thinking I’m batshit crazy, does anyone have any ideas about this?  I am tempted to believe that I may have surged on my own on the day of my CD13 ultrasound, but I suppose there’s no way to know for sure since no bloodwork was done on that day.

If that was the case, would triggering after or during ovulation have any negative impact on the cycle?

Is a 16mm follicle mature enough?

How will the doc adjust my treatment in the next cycle to ensure that I have ample time to mature my follies further?

Soooo many questions.  I guess this is why my RE doesn’t give out her email address.

Ugh.

Status

Unexpected

June 17th, 2011.  CD16, 3DPO…?

So yesterday at this time, I was settling in to the thought that I had about a week’s wait before ovulation.

Today, apparently, I am firmly in the Two Week Wait.

Crazy, right?  I know!

I went to my chart on Fertility Friend and checked out when I had my temp rise, which lined up exactly with the time frame the ultrasound tech told me she thought I had ovulated–two to three days ago.  So, I did what any obsessive TTC-er would do; I manually overrode the system and placed my ovulation date.

I feel like such a cheater!  And a slouch!  Not only did I not know I ovulated, even if I had been using OPK’s to test, I probably wouldn’t have started using them until after the day I actually ovulated anyway!  And forget about Sexy Timing!  We probably would have started yesterday, had I not received the unexpected news about my premature ovulation. Thankfully, there was one little “encounter” a few days ago that made it onto the chart before the egg-drop, or I would have to chalk this month up to a total waste before it even got off the ground.

What is my body trying to do to me??

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Status

Busy Birds n’ Bees

May 23rd, 2011.  CD24.

It’s been a crazy couple of days around here, buzzing around trying to get ready for this trip out of town, frantically packing (and re-packing… (and then unpacking again because it’s too freaking early to pack)), and generally stressing out about things beyond my control.

Oh, and then the whole “trying to create life” thing too.  Yeah, it’s been busy day and night.

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Status

You Really Like Me!

April 25th, 2011.  CD30, 5DPO.

That’s right, 5DPO.  If FertilityFriend doesn’t want to confirm my ovulation, then I will just go ahead and manually override the system to declare it myself.  So there.  Ovulation?  Check.

So, I guess that puts me officially in the TWW… This cycle is already crazy.  I’m usually preparing the house for a visit from Aunt Flo around CD30–Heating pad within reach, Midol and tampon supply stocked, chocolate stockpile replenished–but this month I’m anticipating another five days or so of waiting around for that to happen.  Strange…

Maybe my body knows that this time next month the husband and I will be traveling out of state for a wedding, and that I will have much more important things to concern myself with than how many miles are between the highway rest areas.

I guess I won’t complain.  For now, anyway.

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Aside

Rotten Easter Eggs

April 24th, 2011.  CD29.

So, on this day when we celebrate rebirth and bunnies and eggs, of all things, FertilityFriend doesn’t want to even confirm that I have ovulated this cycle.  I guess I see their point… Erratic temps for 25 days, followed by one measly positive OPK, followed by some not-so-stellar post ovulation temps.  I guess my eggs just aren’t in the Easter spirit.

*Sigh*  I’m not holding out a lot of hope for this cycle to be of a normal length, let alone for it to produce a child.

But hey–At least there’s an abundance of baked goods and salty meats and candy to celebrate this day!  Oh, and I also bought a new pair of jeans, and for once, they make my 12-year-old-boy-ass look fantastic.  Really.  So there’s that.

And so, Happy Easter, my friends.  May you spend the day relaxing with friends and family and not running from rabbits with nasty, sharp, pointy teeth.

Video

Whatever. I’m Getting Cheese Fries.

April 21st, 2011.  CD26.

Well, my temp did rise this morning, but not by an impressive amount.  I guess my Ob-Gyn was right–I do have a weak natural ovulation.

I’ve been wondering why that is a lot lately.  I think that’s why I started reading about PCOS.  Now, I know I’ve said in the past that self-diagnosing is not the way to handle things, but it’s tough to sit patiently and wait for my appointment with the fertility clinic in June.  Maybe if we don’t call it “Google Diagnosis” and refer to it as something like “educating myself on the possibilities”, it will all sound less crazy.

Who’s in favor of less crazy?

Oooh, ooh–ME!

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Aside

Meet My Ovaries: Cheech and Chong

April 20th, 2011.  CD25.

I haven’t really named my ovaries, of course, but I assume that they must be friends of Mary Jane since they conveniently chose today–4/20, famous for being the unofficial pot smoker’s Christmas–to function properly.

I finally got a positive OPK late last night, and again early this morning.

Tonight?  Negative.

I guess that’s that then, isn’t it?

I’m expecting a temp spike tomorrow to confirm ovulation, of course, but I feel safely comfortable saying that I am now officially in the Two Week Ten Day Wait.

Also, I just wanted to point out that infertility is ruining Easter for me.  All of the egg imagery is making me bitter, and not even fondant-filled chocolate eggs are making it better.  And I can no longer eat a Peep because they make me think of squishy little pre-babies, which is just tragic and demented.

Thanks a bunch, infertility, for taking candy away from me too.  Why don’t you go ahead and ruin oxygen next?  You suck.

Pass the jelly beans.

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