Tag: stress
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This and That.

Hi folks.

I don’t really have anything groundbreaking to say, or any amazing news to share, but I wanted to at least reach out and let you all know that I’m still here.

Life is good.  I’m spending my weekends farmers’ marketing and cooking yummy foods, and I spent all day yesterday in a 24-hour cheat cycle that included all sorts of sweets and fried foods, and watching a tv show that’s been off the air for ten years and only produced one season.  I love it.  And I’m going to probably cry when it’s over, because I will know that it’s never coming back.

I am obviously a glutton for punishment.

So I have that going for me.

Aside from that, the husband is changing shifts this week, so there will be a whole new level of getting-used-to going on in our house for the next couple of weeks.  He works in the auto industry, and his shift rotates a few times per year.  Prior to this week, he was working a combination of day and night shifts, and working Friday morning through Monday night.

Once the switch takes effect, he will be working Tuesday night through Friday night; it will be nice to have him home Saturday and Sunday, even if he does need to sleep half of Saturday…

The worst part of this particular schedule change, however, is that he will be gone for work when I get home at 5:30pm each day, and won’t be home again until probably 6am or so the next morning while I’m getting ready to leave for work.  This effectively means that four days a week, I won’t see the husband for more than an hour in the early morning while he’s dragging himself in the door, and I’m rushing myself out.

This makes the timing of certain *ahem* intimate activities a little difficult.

It’s not the first time he’s worked this shift, though, so we’ll manage.  Mornings during ovulation might just get a little… interesting.

If ya know what I mean.

And I’m bettin’ ya do.

Hmm… What else is new, you ask?

Not much, to be honest.  I’m just living the dream over here, taking my vitamins and herbs at the required times and in the proper amounts, trying to maintain control over my diet in the face of the new Chick-Fil-A that’s opening up a block from my office, and generally just attempting to stay as relaxed as possible.

There are a few things I’ve been mulling over in my head when I think about how I can remove certain stressors.  I’m not sure what will come of these thoughts, but I know I have some stress triggers, and I know I’ve strayed from some things that I feel might help me cope better.

First is church.  I grew up in the church, and grew away from it as an adult.  Partially because logistically I was far away from where I felt comfortable, and partially because I didn’t have much in the way of in-house support (read: the husband doesn’t want to/often can’t attend services on Sundays).  So these days, I’m not a parishioner, but I’m still a believer.  I have my own spirituality, but sometimes I feel like that’s not enough.  It might be time to start seriously making an effort to get back into the fold… Even if it’s just me.

Next on the list is money.  Money stresses everyone out, but I had some major issues with identity theft years ago, and that junk still pops up to haunt me today.  I’ve been working to resolve as much as possible, but it just takes so much time, and of course that time is almost always required to be during business hours.  When I work.  So, boo.  I think it might be time to crank up the professional help on this bad boy, and get this monkey off my back once and for all.

Another thing my life lacks is time spent in nature.  Maybe I just need to go to a park once in a while, but I just don’t know this area well enough.  Since moving in with the husband, what… seven years ago?  Jeez!  Anyway, since then, I’ve lived in the city or suburbs.  Even now, our house is right smack in the middle of the city, in a nice little subdivision.  We have a yard with a garden, lots of squirrels and birds, but it’s not exactly nature.

I grew up in the woods.  No, seriously.  WOODS.  It was amazing.  I was a weird kid with giant glasses and terminal skinny awkwardness (thank goodness I grew out of ONE of those things…), and I was always building forts and bringing home little forest critters, much to the dismay of my parents I’m sure.  I used to know the woods back home like the back of my hand.  I knew where every mossy rock was, and where wild asparagus grew.  I could climb the creepy overgrown apple trees, and pick my way through the wild raspberry bushes to find my own snacks.  I lived for the time of year when the walnuts fell, both because I loved helping to collect them for grandma’s root cellar, and because I loved the tangy, spicy scent of the green skin that surrounds the nutshell.

I miss nature.  I miss following deer paths and sitting in the sun so quietly that a fox wanders by.  I need to get back to that, somehow.  Maybe nature IS my church.  Maybe I can heal myself in more ways than I know just by getting back to my roots.

Ha, roots… see what I did there?  Nature jokes.  😉

This all leads me back to another thought I’ve had lately.

Therapy.

Do I need therapy?  Maybe.  Maybe not.

I don’t often feel like I do, but maybe it would help me cope better with stress.  I’ve never felt particularly manic or crazed when I’m stressed, and I never feel like it’s something I can’t handle, but then again… maybe I need help.  I am learning that I internalize my stress, which is why I get sick every time I am in a particularly stressful situation.  Like my wedding day… sick all day.  Lovely time, that.

Maybe therapy would help me have a better understanding of what I can do to deal with my stress rather than pushing it down so that it infects my whole system.

Maybe.  We’ll see.

So that’s where I’m at.  Still here, still plodding on with my non-treatment “treatment” of acupuncture and herbs, and still trying to figure out who I am and what I’m doing with my life.

It’s not a terrible place to be, but I certainly hope to find my way out of this maze one day…

 

I hope you all have a fantastic week, and may the coming days bring you some beautiful fall weather!

And cheesecake.  I hope you all also getchasum cheesecake.

Mmmm.

 

 

 

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Lazy Days of Summer

June 2nd, 2011.  CD34.

Well, it’s been a hectic week, but I’m still alive.

…Still haven’t ovulated, but alive nonetheless.  I wonder if the stress of preparing for our trip to my brother-in-law’s wedding in Knoxville, or the “traveler’s illness” I tend to get had anything to do with my delayed ovulation.  I just hope something happens soon, because a thirty-four day cycle is not what I had in mind for this month, and it shows no signs of being over any time soon.

Just for kicks, I peed on a stick this morning.  No surprise, but it was negative.  I figured maybe since I was too busy thinking about traveling and all the preparation going into the trip, maybe I’d gotten knocked up somehow when I wasn’t paying attention.

Nope, no such luck.  I guess the RE will just have to see me in fifteen short days after all.

I wish I had some kind of interesting news to report, but alas, I have none.  On the weight-gain front, I’d managed to put on about four pounds before our trip, but my anxiety with traveling and the stress I put on myself caused me to eat poorly and not as much as I should have, so I think I undid a lot of what I’d gained.  I’m still holding strong though, and managed to force down an enormous breakfast today.  I’ll get there…

I spent a lot of time over the weekend with a lot of girls I’d never met, which was interesting.  Everyone was super-nice, and I had a lot of great conversations with people who had heard through the grapevine that the husband and I were having some trouble in the reproduction department.  Let’s just say that at one point at the wedding reception after-party, lots of drinks were flowing, and lots of painful stories of other people’s reproductive troubles were too.  It was pretty uncomfortable, but in a way I appreciated hearing that I’m not the only one with a broken oven.

I just wish I’d been drinking too, and maybe it wouldn’t have been so awkward sitting in a hot tub with women I’d known for an hour talking about miscarriages and IVF.  Next time I’ll remember to keep a flask in my bikini.

All in all though, the whole trip was a success.  I had fun with friends and family, the drama was kept in check, and my mind was so far off from TTC that I forgot entirely to temp the whole time I was away.  Oops!

Now that it’s back to reality, I can see that this summer is going to be one of the busiest in recent memory.  Lots of events, lots of appointments and testing, lots of decisions, and from what I am starting to gather, lots of work-related stress.  More on that another day…

For now, here are a few pictures from the weekend.  Enjoy!

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