Tag: post-miscarriage

What a Scream…

Wednesday, October 31st, 2012.  CD1.

While the events of last night were hilariously timed, today’s have been far less amusing.

I stayed home from work today with the usual-but-markedly-worse-than-usual Cycle Day One horrors – cramps, nausea, diarrhea, and awful fatigue – and am now attempting to work a bit from bed.

I also called Dr. K this morning to let him know that Aunt Flo was in the house, and the nurse called me back a couple of hours later to let me know the verdict.

I can start meds NOW!  WOO!

So here’s the treatment plan:

Dr. K is doubling my Femara, which I will take for five days, followed by six days of Menopur, and then an ultrasound on the 12th to check on the follicle growth.  They expect me to trigger on the 14th or so…

Sounds great!

Only one problem… I’m leaving for Atlanta, sans husband, on the 14th.

Not gonna work.

UGH.  SOOOOOOO close, and yet so far away.

Sounds like it’ll be December after all before we can attempt another medicated cycle.

Boo.  Aunt Flo’s a whore.

Happy Halloween, indeed.  😦





Uhh… Okay!

Tuesday, October 30th, 2012.  38DPMc.

So yesterday I called into Dr. K’s office and spoke with Nurse Grumpypants, who I am learning is not actually grumpy, just in a hurry.  She’s actually very nice, and when I can speak with her longer than a minute, very helpful as well.

I called to ask when would be the appropriate time to ask for help in getting my next cycle started.  It’s been well over a month since the miscarriage, and I’d been bleeding and spotting for close to a week before that even took place.  All in all, it’s been probably 45 days, give or take, since the start of my last bleed.

The nurse said that was plenty of time to have waited, and she would get a prescription for Provera called in for me.

“But wait… have you taken a pregnancy test?”

Uhh.  Noo… But I also didn’t think I’d ovulated since the miscarriage either, so I haven’t felt the need to do so.

I told her that, and she asked me to take an HPT and call her back to let her know the results.


Do you wanna know what the test said?


LOL… Sorry.  I find inappropriate things to be funny, and I guess joking about being pregnant is as pregnant as it gets for me these days.

So anyway, the nurse called in a prescription for Provera for me this morning.  I’ll start taking it tonight for ten days, and when I stop, Aunt Flo should come a-callin’.

The nurse said for me to call when I start bleeding, and I was confused.

So I’m like “Do you mean when I start bleeding in ten-ish days, or when I start bleeding in a month and ten-ish days?”

She says, “No sweetie, when you start bleeding in ten-ish days, you will need to call us so we can start ordering your meds for the medicated cycle.”

Uhh… Sorry, what?  “I’m confused.  (obviously I thought I had to have a full bleed and complete cycle before I could start meds again?”

“Well usually, yes, but since you’re taking the Provera, we consider that a cycle reset.  You can start meds in mid-November or as soon as you start bleeding.”

And then I’m all like “WOO HOO!”

Nurse Grumpypants actually laughed.

I’m kind of excited.  And nervous.  And straight-up worried about the timing of things, considering I’m going to Atlanta for four days in mid-November.

But this is a start.  A reset.

Something to look forward too, rather than sitting here stagnant, wondering when I might feel normal again.

Bring it on.  🙂

Three Weeks Gone

Sunday, October 14th, 2012.  21DPMc. This week would have been the end of our first trimester. We would have announced our pregnancy publicly.  Maybe today, maybe later in the week. We had some beautiful professional photos taken by some dear friends, specifically to post on Facebook and send to friends and family. I haven’t had

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Saturday, October 6th, 2012.  13DPMc.

I used to get headaches in high school.

And they kept getting worse…

My family doc had me record what I ate, drank, and did for weeks at a time to try to pinpoint what exactly was causing these cursed things.

It wasn’t caffeine, sodium, or anything I was eating, and in the end the doctor ruled them to be migraines.

Migraines triggered by hormonal fluctuations.

In college, they got worse.  They’d last days at a time, and the level of medication escalated weekly.

Then, when I started birth control, they went away completely.  It was great!

…Minus the whole Birth-Control-Tracy thing, anyway.

In the battle of batshit crazy, or in pain every other day, crazy won by a landslide.

Some people in my life may have preferred the pain, lol.

When I finally got off of birth control after the husband and I were engaged, I was really scared that the migraines would return.

Mercifully, they didn’t.

I asked my doctor why this was, and she said that many women go through more than one puberty-like hormonal shift.  The first one is obvious, and the others can be more subtle.  She asked if I had noticed any changes in my body over the years, and after thinking about it, I had.  She said that was probably the hormones regulating and that maybe I wouldn’t get migraines so much, or even at all anymore.

I also worried that the fertility medications I started taking a couple years after that conversation would bring back the pain.

Again, mercifully, they didn’t.

I worried again when I got that blessed BFP that the headaches were just around the corner…

And still… nothing.

I started to think I was invincible.

And then I miscarried.  And the migraines came back.

It’s been just about two weeks since the miscarriage, and I’ve had four migraines.  Two of them have lasted over 24 hours.

Including the one I have now… I’ve tried just about everything.

Here’s a short list of things that won’t work on migraines:

  • Tylenol
  • Motrin
  • Percocet
  • Caffeine
  • Sleep
  • Cold
  • Heat
  • Hot baths
  • Hot tea
  • Rest
  • Doctor Who repeats
  • Bacon
  • Nutella
  • Blogging

I’m typing this with one eye closed.  It hurts too much to have them both open at the same time.  Light hurts.  Sound hurts.  I’m hungry and nauseated all at once.  My face feels like it’s going to crumple in on one side.  My neck hurts, and my shoulders are tight because of that, and the pain from my shoulders is radiating down my arms and back.

I’m a mess.

I wonder if wine helps…?  I’m thinking not.

Oh, one other thing that I thought might help that totally didn’t?


Yep.  First time since the miscarriage, and I wanted it to be something special… Instead, it turned into a device to help alleviate pain instead of alleviating something else.


Anyway, it’s making me dizzy trying to type this with one eye, so I’m going to go lie around and try to watch sappy chick-flicks with one eye.  That should definitely help…

Happy weekend, friends.

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Summertime Sadness

A safe space where I discuss the racing thoughts in my head, personal struggles, and day-to-day activities while struggling with mental health and mood disorder issues. My personal goal is to reduce the stigma that comes with mental health and mood disorders, by talking more about it.