Tag: Menopur
Status

To Run My Mouth or Not to Run My Mouth…

Tuesday, May 21st, 2013.  CD10.

…That is the question.

So I just got back from my dildo-cam appointment (where they also took around a gallon of blood – rather unexpectedly, mind you), and I have some concerns.

First, I’ve done five days on 5mg of Femara, followed by three days on 75IU of Gonal F.

As of today, I have only two measurable follicles:  an 11 on the right, and a 14 on the left.

This seems on track with my first injects cycle, where I had just slightly smaller follies than that on CD11.  That cycle took 10 days at 75IU of Menopur to get me to a mature follicle.  I triggered on CD17 in that cycle, and ovulated on CD18.

I got my BFP that time, but, well… you know the story of how that worked out.

Issue one:  So, I have smallish follicles for CD10, and the doctor (read:  not MY doctor, but the fill-in doctor) wants me to continue with the 75IU dosage tonight and tomorrow, and return to their office on Thursday.

Issue two:  I started this cycle with one 450IU Gonal F pen in my possession.  I have used 225IU thus far.  I can either use 150IU over the course of the next two nights, and have 75IU leftover for a “just in case” dose, or I can push to do another 75IU tonight, and 150IU tomorrow, and have no safety net.  Also, I’d have to hope and pray that my 14 got itself to maturity by then… and maybe a spare prayer for the 11 to catch up.

Question one:  Should I call the nurse and give her the sad story of my first injectables cycle, and let her know that I would really like to do 75IU tonight, and 150IU tomorrow to ensure these bad boys grow fast?

Issue three:  My lining is also measuring only 6.5, which is a bit low for me.  In previous injects cycles, my lining was measuring around 9 by CD10 or 11.

Question two:  My doctor will let me use Prometrium for an IUI cycle, but hasn’t said anything about using it for timed intercourse cycles… Should I press her for a prescription regardless which direction we go for insemination?

Question three:  Am I a crazy person?  Already?  This soon after a lengthy break in which to come down from Mount CrazyPants??

*le sigh*

So anyway, now you see what I’m mulling over in my mind.  I don’t know whether to keep on the path of least resistance, or stand up and risk becoming the Crazy Patient so soon with this new clinic.

I do know this much:

I know myself, and I know my body.

I know my history.

I know that my body has sometimes responded slowly to meds, and sometimes responded more quickly.

I know that I’ve never used Gonal F before, and am aware that my body may react differently to a synthetic FSH rather than an FSH/LH mix.

I know that I should also probably wait until the results of my Estradiol labs come back before making any grand statements…

I also know that there are many of you out there in the Readerdom who have been through this, and who have much more scientific information to go on than I do at present.

If any of you would like to offer your advice or counsel on this topic, I am ALL EARS, sister!

Please help me, for my CrazyTrain is getting dangerously close to derailment.  🙂

 

Update:  I called and chatted with a super-friendly nurse (or at least she’s friendly NOW… just wait till she realizes the depths of my crazy…), and she gave my Estradiol number, which was 106.  Nice Nurse also talked me down from the ledge, telling me that at CD10, everything looks pretty good in the eyes of medicine.  I shouldn’t compare this cycle to previous cycles, because so much is different now, like the supplements I’m taking, the dietary changes I’ve made, and the new meds I’m trying like Gonal F and Metformin.

She agreed to call in a Prometrium Rx for me, and said that I can start taking it 72 hours after IUI (if we go that route – if not, I can start it around 3DPO).  Nice Nurse doesn’t think I need to do anything to get my lining thicker, and that it will thicken well enough on its own once I have more mature follicles.  Mature follicles produce more E2, therefore my E2 will go up as my follicles mature, and my lining will thicken as a result.  Or so she says…

Anyway, I feel better.  I’m going to be a good patient (for now… mwahahaha!) and continue with my 75IU dosage for today and tomorrow.  That will leave me with a “just in case” dose for Thursday night if necessary.  Hopefully I won’t need more Gonal F than that, but if I do, Nice Nurse knows the pharmacies in town that have it in stock for emergencies.

Best case scenario looks like this:  Final Gonal F shot on Wednesday, u/s Thursday shows mature follies, trigger Thursday, IUI Friday (maybe), covert ops baby-making Saturday and Sunday.

Here’s hoping!

Status

Dreams

Monday, January 14th, 2013.  CD24, 10DPO.

I’ve been having some crazy dreams the past few nights, and last night was no exception.

I tossed and turned with some of the vivid situations playing out in my head, and then I just woke up.  From that point on, I think I just hovered on the edge of sleep and waking, and little wisps of sad dreams floated by until my alarm went off.

I feel like this restless night was probably a big part of the reason why my temp dipped so low today, but a small part of me hopes that maybe it’s an implantation dip.  (A slightly bigger part of me, that has the voice of my friend Kboo, knows that I shouldn’t count on temps at all during a medicated cycle, lol…)

The “dream” I was having just before I woke for good was not a happy one.

I was basically flipping through images of all of my friends and family, counting how many children they had all brought into the world since the husband and I started trying for a baby of our own in March of 2009.

It seems like hundreds.

Couples have met, dated, gotten engaged, married, honeymooned and then procreated in that amount of time.  We’ve just been stuck, stagnant, trying in vain for what seems so far away.

I try not to wallow, but when you’re dreaming, you’re a captive to your subconscious.

I woke up on that sad, bitter note, and I’m finding it difficult to trudge my way up out of the funk.

On a somewhat lighter note, I have continued to test out the Ovidrel trigger over the weekend, and can report that this morning’s test was so barely-there that I’m calling it a BFN.

Wondfo Progression 1.14.13

Wondfo Progression – Ovidrel 12 days past trigger/10dpo

Here’s hoping for some pink lines to wrap up the week…

Status

Meh.

Friday, January 11th, 2013.  CD21, 7DPO.

Meh.

That’s how I’m feeling.

My temps are up where they should be, I guess, but nothing special is going on.  Meh.

My ladylumps (Yes, I still say ladylumps.  Deal with it.) are a little tender, but that’s normal for any cycle.  Meh.

I’m hungry all the time, but that’s probably just normal TWW hormones and a smidge of feeling-eating going on.  Besides, it’s too early for pregnancy symptoms anyway, right?  Meh.

I’m testing out the trigger, and today at 9 Days Past Trigger, that cursed line is still there, lighter than yesterday, but still nice and pink.  Meh.

I guess maybe I was hoping something magical would happen this cycle.  A beautiful implantation dip, boobs that hurt when you so much as look at them, tingling and prodding in the uterine area.

You know… something.

ANYthing.

But no.

Just a whole lotta Meh.

Anyway, here’s a picture of the Wondfo test progression, as I know plenty of folks out there like to stalk.  🙂

Enjoy your weekend!

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Ovidrel progression with Wondfos, 9 days past trigger, 7 days past ovulation

 

Status

New Year, New You.

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2013.  CD12.

How did you spend your New Year’s Eve?

I spent the night on the couch, in complete misery, because of some lovely leftover Femara side-effects from which I’m currently suffering.  Things are feeling a whole lot better today, but the past 48 hours have been rough.

Thankfully, that issue does not seem to have knocked the whole cycle off track, and I’m feeling pretty good about things today.

I have one lead follicle that, when I trigger tonight, should hopefully be around 23mm when I trigger tonight, and those two twelves may have made it to maturity by tonight, too.  The husband is off work until Friday, and even then he works day shifts on Friday and Saturday, so that will make SexyTime much easier to schedule this month.

With the stress of the holidays behind me, I feel like this is a much easier cycle to handle.  Yes, there have been some problems, and yes, the beginning of the cycle falling right during the Christmas/anniversary/housewarming/New Year’s chaos was rough, but I feel good.  Happy.  Positive, even.

I feel like 2013 is going to be the year of the Take Home Baby.

Not just for me, but for so many of us who have been struggling for so long…

Hang in there, friends.  This is the year it all changes.  🙂

 

 

 

Status

Starting 2013 With a Bang…

Monday, December 31st, 2012.  CD10.

So upon worrying myself sick about it, I decided to reschedule my monitoring ultrasound for today instead of Wednesday (CD12) because I was worried that by then I might be ovulating on my own and unable to tell if I had any mature follicles.

(Holy run-on sentence, Batman…)

I figured that since it’s a bit early, I probably wouldn’t have any good-lookin’ follies today, but it turns out that there’s a nice-sized 17.5 on the right!  I also have two 12-going-on-13s on the left that we are hoping will catch up by Wednesday (CD12) when I will trigger.  My lining is nice and thick, as usual, measuring a bit over 10 today.

I started the Menopur 150iu injections last night (in the bathroom at a really nice restaurant during a family dinner… of course), and other than feeling increasingly tired, that seems to be going well.  I’m hopeful that this double-dose will boost my twelves and make my seventeen a healthy, mature sperm-magnet.

On the downside, stress, lack of sleep, dehydration, Femara usage, and myriad other holiday-related issues have led to a bit of an irritation, which might make the next couple of days a bit uncomfortable.  I won’t let it deter me, however!  This isn’t the worst thing I’ve had to go through on this journey to a Take Home Baby, and I won’t let it stop me from trying my best this cycle.

I know how we will be spending the first few days of our 2013, and I have to say – not too shabby.  😉

I hope you all have a fantastic, beautiful, bountiful New Year, and that 2013 brings all of our dreams to light.

Thank you for reading, my friends.

Status

Fair Warning…

Monday, December 10th, 2012.  CD14, 2DPO…?

While I am feeling pretty iffy about our timing this cycle, and feeling pretty detached from the whole process in general, I am planning to still institute my “radio silence” campaign toward the end of next week.

I haven’t talked much with the husband about what we plan to do if this turns into a BFP cycle.

Will we tell everyone right away?

Will we wait till we see a beating heart?

Will we wait for the twelve-week “safe zone” to arrive?

I just don’t know.

We are still a little traumatized after our miscarriage, but one thing that helped immensely was the fact that everyone knew.

There were very few times that I had to tell anyone that I had miscarried, because we were very public with the news.  I feel like if it’s in the cards for us again this cycle, then maybe we should just come out with it immediately.

At least if everyone knew what was going on, we would have that support built in again…

Then again, my instinct is to play it close to the vest.  Not because I am ashamed of having miscarried, or because I want to keep secrets (because we all know that’s not my style!), but just because it seems easier to grieve in private… and yet, we value the support of everyone we know.

*sigh*

A conundrum, to be sure.

If I were a betting broad, I would say that the scales tip in the favor of being entirely public about the whole thing, whatever the outcome – BFN or BFP.

Plus, it’s difficult to keep secrets when you scrawl your woes all over the interwebs.  😉

And I don’t know what I’d do without all of you… I have never been a great secret-keeper, and I’m just not a very private person.  I like to share.

I may over-share from time to time.

Or all of the time.

But I like to feel that I am maybe helping one person to feel not so isolated in their feelings, or their journey.  This all sucks royally (by the way, am I the only one who feels like Princess Kate is a backstabbing hooker for getting pregnant before me??), and at least by sharing with all of you, I feel better.

Maybe you feel worse for reading it… but you have a choice to stop.  I have no choice but to go on, every day, whining about my barrenness.  You can just quit reading if you want…

But I bet you won’t.  I think you secretly like reading about my dusty uterus and adventures with prescription drugs and dildo-cams.

Thanks for sticking around you bunch of pervs.  🙂

I wouldn’t have it any other way!

 

Also, while searching for a funny picture of Princess Kate, I found this.

Perfect.

 

 

Status

Uncoordinated

Sunday, December 9th, 2012.  CD13, 1DPO…?

This cycle feels like it’s been a little bit of a fiasco already.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled to get the exciting news of the TWO great-looking follies on Friday!

It just seems like my head hasn’t really been in the game…

Maybe I’m just experiencing what others call “relaxation”…?

HAHAHAHA.

No, seriously.  That’s not it… like, at ALL.

I’ve just been busy.  And preoccupied.  And wrapped up in so many other things.

Part of me wonders if I might be trying to protect myself from getting too attached to this cycle, especially as it’s our first official cycle of really trying, with meds and everything, after our miscarriage in September.

I just hope that whatever is going on with me isn’t some kind of self-sabotage.

Honestly, I’m scared.

I’m scared to death that this cycle is going well.

I’m terrified that it could work.

I’m horrified that I could possibly end up pregnant.

And it’s that point where the nightmare version of the story takes over… As if it wasn’t frightening enough possibly getting pregnant, the thought of possibly losing another baby is the worst thing imaginable.

I’m so used to hearing “No”, seeing “negative”, and getting “I’m sorry…” that I really don’t know what to do when things go well.

I want to be happy, celebrate, but I can never shake that feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

So far, it always has dropped.

I guess I just need to pray for flying shoes…

Anyway, I triggered yesterday morning and the husband and I had all of Friday night and Saturday together.  Technically, we should errrm… spend some time together today as well, but he is resting up for work, and I am heading out shortly to our nephews’ co-birthday party.  By the time I get home, he will be walking out the door, so I’m not sure if it’s going to happen or not.

In my theme of continuing the uncoordinated-ness of this cycle, I’ve sucked at temping.  I’ve been sleeping crazy hours and waking up at odd times.  It’s taking me some time to get used to being in the new house, and none of our things are placed exactly where they need to be yet.

I don’t have a nightstand.  My thermometer is always floating around the room somewhere (and yes, I even stuck it under the mattress a few nights).  I haven’t been the world’s best basal body temp-er, which is another reason why I feel so blah about this cycle.

Last cycle, the one where I got that spectacular BFP, I temped like it was my JOB.

I got that beautiful triphasic chart, and I was all over the FertilityFriend message boards analyzing every single thing.  Got a BFP.  Perfect.

Then we miscarried, and now I’m having trouble getting back into the swing of things.  I suck at temping.  I’ve stayed away from the message boards altogether, I’ve been slacking on my prenatal vitamins… I don’t even know if I’m going to test out the trigger.

Ugh.

Get it together, woman!

I’m trying.

I’m trying.

I’ll get there…

Maybe the off cycle is the one that sticks… who knows?

Either way, I feel like this Christmas is going to be a memorable one, as my test date is just a couple days beforehand.

I really don’t want to close out the year the same way as 2011.  And 2010.  And 2009…

Oh lord.

I just realized something great…

My test date is the Mayan Apocalypse.

 

HAHAHAHA… That’s just perfect.

Uncoordinated though it may be, I do love this quirky little life.  😉

Status

Double Trouble!

Friday, December 7th, 2012.  CD11.

I just got back from my first – and only! – monitoring appointment for this cycle.

Apparently double the Femara plus a few days of Menopur was just the trick!

I have a follicle measuring 17 on the left, and a 17.5 on the right (that NEVER happens!!), so just one more Menopur injection tonight, trigger tomorrow morning, and then scrambling the eggs all weekend.  😉

I’m starting to think maybe that astrologer was onto something…

Oh God… I hope he was.

XOXO, friends!

Status

Doing Shots

Tuesday, December 4th, 2012.  CD8.

I started the Menopur shots last night; same dosage as the last cycle, 75iu per night for five nights.

You would think that after all the shots I’ve had to get and give myself that I wouldn’t be such a little girl about it, but last night was pretty bad.

I spent a half hour watching YouTube videos of women mixing medications and giving themselves shots, and then another ten minutes psyching myself up in the mirror to actually stab that tiny little needle into my belly.

It didn’t even hurt, but I was such a wimp about it.  I’m hoping tonight will be better.

Perhaps since the husband will be home, that will pressure me into doing it quickly and getting it over with.  Sometimes peer pressure is actually helpful.

So that’s it with the meds.  Just a shot a night till Friday, when I have a monitoring ultrasound with Dr. K, and hopefully some fat follies ready to pop.  I’m hopeful, but not anticipating, that the trigger will be over the weekend.  The husband has the day off on Saturday, and that would be a great day to… you know.  Do that one thing.

Oh hey, want a moving update?  Here it is!

We finalized everything with the apartment move-out over the weekend.  Well, on Sunday – my birthday – to be exact.

And by we, I mean me.

All alone, painting walls white and carrying paint cans and ladders out to my car while the husband was working.

*cue the violins*

Thankfully, I’d had help from the world’s best in-laws with the painting earlier in the week, so it didn’t take nearly as long as it could have.

We are officially IN our new house!  The painting is mostly complete, with just one little ol’ wall I want to adjust.  We have boxes everywhere, and most mornings I can’t find my pants, but it’s slowly coming together.

We have a little housewarming shindig planned for the end of the month, and I’m excited about having people over for the first time in… forever!  We always had crappy little apartments filled with cats and dogs, and never wanted to really have people come over and hang out, but with this new house, that’s all changed.

We have space now.  Space for the feline tenants to hide when company comes over, and space for their litter boxes to inhabit and not generally gross out anyone within proximity.  (For the record, we do clean them daily, but we have one fat cat who shall remain nameless that refuses to “cover” his eliminations.  Ugh.)

We have a yard where people can congregate, and may even have a fire pit when warmer weather arrives!  We can grill out on the patio, and the dog can run around with whatever kiddos might be over, and the adults can relax and play cards and have drinks and food and generally just be merry.

It’s idyllic.  Seriously.

I never fancied myself a girl for the suburbs, but I’m coming around.  🙂

Once we get things a little more organized and put some pictures on the walls, I’ll post some photos.  Until then, it’s going to be a straight-up free for all to get this place in order.

And, you know, Christmas, birthdays, our anniversary, and New Year’s.

No biggie.

Thankfully, it’s eat-your-feelings-and-stress season.  😉

Happy Holidays!

https://i1.wp.com/mapi.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Girl-Eating-Cookies.jpg

Status

New Protocol Update

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012.  CD2.

I spoke with the nurse at Dr. K’s office this morning, and the new protocol has been decided.  I will just double my dosage of Femara, taken CD3 – CD7, and then continue the same dosage of Menopur CD7 – CD11.  I will have a monitoring ultrasound on CD11 and then see where that takes us…

The hope is that the tweaked protocol this month will yield a BFP like the last cycle, but with follicles that mature more quickly than last time.  The doc said that the only thing he didn’t like about my BFP cycle was the fact that it took so long for my follicles to ripen.  I didn’t trigger until CD17, and I didn’t ovulate until CD18, which was three to four days longer than Dr. K would have liked, considering the medications I was on.

I also asked about CD3 blood work monitoring, and should be getting a call back later today about it.

Let’s hope this month, and this tiny tweak, is just what my body needs to get going on a successful, healthy pregnancy that gives me that Take Home Baby I so desperately want…

 

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