Tag: Christmas
Status

Radio Silence 3.0… Probably.

Wednesday, December 19th, 2012.  CD23, 12DPO.

I’m going into hiding for a few days.

Probably, anyway.

I don’t expect to have great news to broadcast this Christmas, largely because for a few days now, I have been feeling crampy and bloaty and just… Ugh.

Aunt Flo and her always-ironic timing are probably on their way, just in time for my family to arrive this weekend.

I suppose I should just join the camp where I hope Auntie shows her face as soon as possible so that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day aren’t completely miserable.

Anyway, I’m probably going to keep quiet for a few days, mostly out of lack of time to post, and partially because I might just not want to talk about how disappointed I am during the most jolly time of year.

If I’m not able to make it back here in time for Christmas, let me just convey my wishes now:

Happy ChristmaHanukKwanzaKuh!

May the season bring you love and light and blessings,

May your tampon drawer remain closed for many months,

May your pee-sticks have two lines,

And may your uterus be filled with joy and babies.  🙂

I love you guys. 

 

Please tell me this really exists…

Status

You Suck.

Thursday, December 13th, 2012.  CD17, 5DPO.

I’m already losing faith in this cycle.

Testing out the trigger?

No.  Took the month off from that at the suggestion of my TTCBFF.  I miss it, and not feeling like I have control SUCKS.

My temps?

Low.  Like pre-ovulation-low.  Suck.

My symptoms?

Nonexistent, and therefore, suck.

SUCK SUCK SUCK!

So anyway, now that that’s out of the way…

How about some updates?

I don’t have much.  Like previously stated, this Two Week Wait has been pretty uneventful thus far.

My temps have been wonky and low, my boobs don’t hurt, and I don’t feel twingy like I did during my pregnancy/miscarriage cycle’s TWW.

The only thing that seems promising is that I’m freaking exhausted and I’m an eating machine.  I realize both of those are probably entirely due to the increase in progesterone I likely have due to ovulating two mature eggies this cycle, but still… that’s all I have to hold onto.

I’m hoping that this weekend will bring some higher temps and giant, painful chesticles to renew my hope, but we shall see.

For now though, I’m just trying to enjoy this bustling, chilly time of year.  The house is getting somewhere near order, I have Christmas shopping to finish this weekend, and my family is coming to Ohio to visit next weekend.

I’m thankful for our many blessings, and the blessed distractions that will (hopefully) keep me from obsessing about my every twinge and temp drop.

Happy holidays, everyone!  🙂

 

Status

Secrets

Hiya folks.

My apologies as I completely bypass the fact that I haven’t written a darn word here since before I turned 31.  Yikes.  Call it what you will, but things have been crazy.

How’sabout a quick recap?

No?

Too effing bad.  It’s my blog.

Firstly, my birthday was December 2nd.  So was Britney Spears’.  I hope you sent her a card.  My office also had their holiday party that day, so I drank my face off that night, was forced to do the Electric Slide in front of all of my coworkers, and learned that I am amazingly good at shuffleboard (the table version, not the retirement community version).

All in all, good times.  Went to bed a little tipsy with a tiny case of the sniffles.

The next day, I woke up without a voice due to laryngitis and a nasty sinus infection.  Like, none at all.  Not a squeak or a crack, just a teensy little bit of a whisper.  Therefore, I attended our annual FriendsGiving party with a notepad and the husband acting as my translator.

I later learned that I infected approximately seven other people with my illness that night.  I was concerned for a few days that the Zombie Apocalypse would begin in Toledo, Ohio, but thankfully some strong antibiotics and lots of tea and rest killed the infection.

I missed two days of work, and that was tough.  I also didn’t speak for days on end, and that was even worse.  I love to talk.  I love to hear the sound of my own voice.  I even love to read my written (typed) words in my own voice.  Oddly enough, my inner monologue is British.  And male.

…That might explain a few things, but I digress.

Oh right, this was supposed to be a QUICK recap… got it.

So anyway, lots of busy workdays, fun parties with friends and families, and I’m finally feeling better now that the antibiotic has cleared the plague out of my system.

There was a full moon last week, and I feel like I might have ovulated then.  I hope that’s good luck.

I also drank some magical pink champagne given to me by three fertile friends, while wearing my mystical fertility bracelets and earrings, so hopefully that helps too.  I’ve been doing really well at not paying such close attention to my cycle.  I can’t just give it up cold turkey,  but I’m doing better.

No OPK’s this cycle – That’s step in the right direction, wouldn’t you say?

Oh, and then I spotted for four days this week.  With no real explanation as to why… I wish  I knew, but I’m really trying not to obsess.

To take my mind off of things, I joined an online Secret Santa exchange through Reddit.  If you’ve never tried their gift exchanges (they do lots of them every year), you should give it a shot.  I got the gift from my Secret Santa today, and it was so amazingly heartwarming, I want to share it with you all.

This is the write-up I did after receiving my gift:

Hi folks. My name is Tracy, and I’m fairly convinced that my SS and I are living mirror image lives. We have an unholy number of things in common…

We have the SAME NAME. How can that be?? We also have something else unfortunate in common in that we are both living with fertility impairments.

Perhaps that’s not so strange considering that one in eight couples in the US are currently dealing with infertility, but the fact that my SS’s fertility challenges came to light mere days before she and I were matched is so eerily amazing, that I cannot help but believe it was meant to be. To call it a coincidence would cheapen the amazement we both seem to have felt in being matched.

My amazing, thoughtful, and compassionate Secret Santa, also named Tracy, sent me a Victoria’s Secret gift card (Secret #1)… because, as she said, who doesn’t want to feel pretty? 🙂 (For the record, trying unsuccessfully to have a baby for three straight years can really take a lot of the “pretty” out of things, if ya know what I mean, so this is PERFECT!)

She also sent me a copy of the book “The Secret” (Secret #2), in the hopes that some of the philosophies therein will help me find the right mental and spiritual place in my life, thereby allowing conception to come more easily. (I’ve been lacking a spiritual direction in my life lately as well, and this may be just the kick in the pants my soul needs. Perfect again!)

The best part of the gift, by far, was the thoughtful and heartfelt letter Tracy wrote to me. She shared her recent secret with me (Secret #3), and gave me some advice both on alternative testing I should pursue to ensure that I am attempting all avenues to conception, as well as some advice on my attitude towards my fertility that I really needed to hear. (SS, you aren’t the only one who’s said it… but maybe hearing it from a stranger really made it hit home for me. Thank you, truly.)

The best gift I will receive this holiday season is the gift of a new outlook, and I have my Secret Santa to thank for that.

Tracy, I hope you are reading this, and I hope you know how special you are to me. I will be praying for you to find a way to your dream, whatever it may be.

Happy Holidays, Redditors. May the new year bring you closer to your dreams!

Oh, and then after I finished reading the super-sweet letter from my Secret Santa, this was my face:

I really am kind of speechless after this whole experience.  I feel badly for complaining that the person I was matched with was nothing like me (I mean, he doesn’t even like bacon!  What?!), but now I hope the gift I came up with for him makes him even a fraction as happy as this gift made me.

It was from a complete stranger, who I have more in common with than some of my closest friends… And it made a huge difference in how I see my outlook on my fertility.

(See that?  My fertility!  Not my INfertility… I’m not even waiting till New Years to put this resolution into effect!)

Well folks, I really wanted to stop in to update you, but now I really have to get back to my kitchen.  It looks like Pinterest threw up in there, and those DIY holiday gift projects are going to D themselves.

Happy ChristmaHanuKwanzaakah!

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