Dec.2008 – Got hitched
Jan.2009 – Started “not trying NOT to get pregnant”
Mar.2009 – Started charting BBT and officially TTC
Jun.2009 – Slight disappointment
Oct.2009 – Frustration
Jan.2010 – Ob-Gyn declares that we “haven’t been trying hard enough” and sends me packing
Apr.2010 – No baby yet; got a kitten
May.2010 – Further disappointment
Aug.2010 – New Ob-Gyn sends me for bloodwork, which comes back normal
Sept.2010 – Hubby’s “swimmer test” also comes back normal
Sept.2010 – HSG performed, tubes clear
Oct.2010 – Agree to try naturally for a bit longer
Jan.2011 – Formal diagnosis, unexplained infertility
Feb.2011 – Clomid 50mg, CD5-9, round one – unsuccessful
Mar.2011 – Clomid 50mg, CD5-9, round two – unsuccessful
Apr.2011 – Natural cycle; on the waiting list to see the RE in June
May.2011 – Another natural cycle; U/S discovered 5.5cm ovarian cyst
Jun.2011 – First meeting with the RE
Jul.2011 – Femara 5mg, CD3-7, + Ovidrel trigger – unsuccessful
Aug.2011-Nov.2011 – Femara/Ovidrel rounds 2-4 – unsuccessful
Dec.2011-Jan.2012 – Natural Cycle – haha, very funny
Feb.2012 – Accepted into AMIGOS Research Study for Unexplained Infertility
Feb.2012 – Blind meds regimen (Clomid 100mg or Femara 5mg) + HCG trigger + IUI #1 – unsuccessful
Mar.2012 – CD3 blood work showed high E2 – month off meds
Apr.2012 – AMIGOS Research Study, Cycle 2 – Blind meds + HCG trigger + IUI #2 – unsuccessful
May.2012 – AMIGOS Research Study, Cycle 3 – Blind meds + HCG trigger + IUI #3 – unsuccessful
Jun.2012 – AMIGOS Research Study, Cycle 4 – Blind meds + HCG trigger + IUI #4 – unsuccessful
Jul.2012 – Waiting to see a new RE in Toledo; rather enjoying the freedom to tattoo my body and consume gallons of wine
Jul.2012 – New RE breaks the news that I have low FSH, and the husband has low morphology. Starting Femara + Menopur immediately!
Aug.2012 – BFP at 10DPO on 8/13 – the husband’s 32nd birthday! EDD 4/26/12
Sep.2012 – Several ultrasounds show slow growth, and on 9/18 at 8w4d, it was confirmed that we would miscarry. Took Cytotec on 9/20, MC complete on 9/23.
Oct.2012 – Starting all over…
Nov. – Dec.2012 – Femara 5mg + Menopur 75iu + Ovidrel = BFNs
Jan.2013 – Femara 5mg + Menopur 75iu/150iu + Ovidrel = BFN
Feb.2013 – Break cycle, scout for new doctor, further testing, acupuncture
Apr.2013 – New RE, possible “lean” PCOS diagnosis, start Metformin
May.2013 – Femara + Gonal F + Ovidrel + IUI = BFN
Jun.2013 – Femara + unmonitored cycle = BFN
Jul.2013 – Laparascopy Surgery cancelled, RE says IVF or nothing; stop Metformin
Aug.2013 – Starting fresh with a new fertility-minded acupuncturist/Traditional Chinese Medicine expert; fully invested in the needles and herbs path!
Nov.2013 – Honored to be the recipient of the Hope Award for Best Blog from RESOLVE! Amazing!!
Feb.2014 – Started a local peer-led support group, sponsored by RESOLVE
Mar.2014 – Hit the official Five Years of Trying mark… Chose to focus less on TTC for the first time in our whole marriage
Apr.2014 – Enjoying married life… without the stresses of TTC for a change!
Apr.2014 – Just kidding – BFP at 11DPO – Estimated Due Date is Christmas Day 2014!!!
.
I’m sorry you have to go through this but as you noted, you are not alone. I had to comment because I noticed you got a kitten about a year into your journey, and so did I. I love my cat. She was my temporary replacement for not being able to have a baby and I love her to death. She almost died on me a year after I adopted her and I about lost it. I just kept asking why on earth this would happen to me. Fortunately, someone was listening and she survived feline leukemia. I know her life with me might not be as long as others but she will have lived a fantastic life when the time comes. Althought pets are not a complete replacement, they do help. Good luck to you and I wish you weren’t having to blog about this :-).
LikeLike
Thank you for the kind words! Yes, we love our pets around here… It’s a zoo most days, and I wouldn’t have it any other way! They definitely help to keep us busy, and they’re a good distraction from the everyday TTC thoughts.
Best of luck to you, and fingers crossed for your little miracle!!
LikeLike
Oh man this looks all too familiar! Pets definitely help with things! My Lucky has been through it all with us- the good and the bad. Pets somehow seem to know what you need that extra snuggle to make things better.
LikeLike
Ugh, very familiar. It is pretty miserable. I’m glad you have this place to vent.
LikeLike
I’m sorry you have to go through this but as you noted, you are not alone. I had to comment because I noticed you got a kitten about a year into your journey, and so did I. I love my cat. She was my temporary replacement for not being able to have a baby and I love her to death. She almost died on me a year after I adopted her and I about lost it. I just kept asking why on earth this would happen to me. Fortunately, someone was listening and she survived feline leukemia. I know her life with me might not be as long as others but she will have lived a fantastic life when the time comes. Althought pets are not a complete replacement, they do help. Good luck to you and I wish you weren’t having to blog about this .
+1
LikeLike
I’m so sorry for your loss, and all the hurdles you have already jumped over. I am just about to start ttc again after waiting 3 months after my mmc in July. Good luck! I’ll be following your process!
LikeLike
Love the title of your blog Tracy. When I was TTC I swore I would slap the next person who told me that! Ugh! Anyhow, my 2nd IUI with Clomid was a success and I am now 12 weeks pregnant. Took us 13 months of TTC, 2 IUIs, and I had an ectopic pregnancy in the mix of everything too. I know the frustrations, the emotions, and everything involved with reproductive challenges all too well. I am so sorry to hear you’re dealing with this too. Praying for another BFP for you soon 🙂
LikeLike
I am sorry to read about everything you have been through. I just found your blog and look forward to getting caught up on your journey and cheering you on in 2013!
LikeLike
Welcome, friend! Thank you… It’s been rough, but the online IF community has kept me very strong. I’ll be checking out your blog, too! Fingers crossed for both of us this year!!
LikeLike
Oof. The things people go through on this journey!
LikeLike
Thank you for posting. I found out about this blog through RESOLVE today. I too went through a miscarriage – two miscarriages in the past three years in fact. I got my cat, Flora, less than two weeks after I had my D & C for the first one in 2012 and she was a godsend. My grieving would have been so much longer and harder. And she was a helpful reminder to stay positive even after my second one. Like people have said before, pets are not a replacement, but she helped me with coping.
LikeLike
Oh lady, I’m so sorry about all you’re going through. I found your blog through RESOLVE as well and gosh, I can relate on so many levels. I wish you the best of luck.
I have two cats and I love them to pieces. They make me smile and laugh during times when I don’t think anything else would pick me up.
LikeLike
I’m a new follower (found your blog through RESOLVE). We experienced our 2nd loss a little over a month ago and your words have been so comforting. Thank you for sharing your journey.
LikeLike
Jenni, thank you so much for reading, and I am so sorry for what you’ve been through. It takes a special kind of strength to keep going in the face of adversity, and I hope that you find some peace in your journey.
Wishing all the best for you, friend… XOXO
LikeLike
Tracy, so happy to have found you. I am a little over a year into my TTC journey with one mc a year ago. I’m just getting started on the road of more testing and possibly seeing an RE.
LikeLike
wow! You have been through a lot
I’m saying prayers for you girlie! I’m glad I found your blog!
LikeLike
Thank you so much, and I’ll be praying for you, too! It’s a tough road, but having friends – even internet friends! – really makes the trudgery so much more bearable. Thanks so much for following!
LikeLike
Story of my life!!!! I’m sort of going through same thing… Only thing they have found is low morphology for my husband!! I’ve completed, urine, blood work, hsg, clomid now letrazole.. Hopefully iui soon… What a terrible journey!!
LikeLike
First of all… love the title of your blog. I swear that is probably the MOST unhelpful thing you can say to someone. I actually had someone tell me this yet again this week, and it was someone who struggled with TTC baby#1 for 3 years. I feel like she should know better.
Anyway… secondly, thank you for sharing your story. I’ve only just started making my way through your blog but I love how honest you are.
This is my least favorite way to relate to someone, but at least we are all not alone. Praying for you!
LikeLike
Thanks for stopping in, Shelby! I completely agree that infertility is a terrible way to meet, but we do the best with what we have, and it’s been my experience that grief and frustration can really form a bond and a sense of community with other women in the same boat. It’s not my preferred method, but I’m thankful for people like you who write, advocate, and reach out to others! 🙂
LikeLike
Just this ❤ lots and lots of this ❤ from me to you. 🙂 I'm so happy to become acquainted with your blog. Thank you so much for the mention.
LikeLike
Just found your blog via Reslove.org! I’m participating in the Bloggers Unite Challenge this year. Just wanted to drop by and say thank you for sharing your story! We are starting our first round of IVF this July. I love connecting with other women who are going through a similar situation. I wish you the best of luck on your journey!
LikeLike
Tracy,
I am so sorry for your loss. Please know you are not alone and I appreciate you reaching out and sharing all you have been through! Sending positive thoughts and prayers of strength your way!
LikeLike
Wow, what a journey you have been on. Unexplained infertility is a living nightmare. Well done you for surviving it and remaining positive. Love how you are focusing on the good stuff. I’ve just started following you, so look forward to reading your posts. Good luck, love and hugs x
LikeLike
So, I read your story and have been for a few months. Reading that you are getting your miracle, first, makes me want to cry(tears of joy ;), I’m not that cruel hehe) Even though when I see someone just get married and immediately have a post “we’re pregnant” makes me first, want to throw up, and second, wish I had more middle fingers.
There is a sense of victory for me when I see people who have struggled with infertility or as I lightly like to call it “not pregnant yet”. I, like yourself have now been trying to get pregnant for five years. Celebrated our 5th on September 5th.
I cheers you and wish you the best pregnancy. I think your little girl will be just fine. I think your victory is mine also for the simple fact it can happen. Postivie thoughts, vibes, and some love and light to you and yours. ☺
Love,
Jessica
LikeLike
This is a crazy journey for me too. Got married and decided to try a year later. Was shocked to find out i got pregnant after trying for 5 months. Ended having a m/c at 5 weeks and went through a very close depression. One year later and still nothing after ttc naturally since everyone said “you got pregnant once on your own, it will happen again”.
Finally accepting that i should see a fertility dr. Was told that everything is ok for me and my husband. He gave me femara and ovidrel just to help things going. First cycle..nada. second nada again..i was getting fustrated so decided to get a dog! Third month comes along, go see my dr thinking we could start iui and tells me i have a cyst and to come back the week after to see if it’s going away..go back and still there so now take femara and ovidrel even though i have the cyst witch makes me nervous cuz this moth*f-ing thing is not going away…so for me its 14 months i am ttc. Starting to feel like giving up but reading everyones story makes me feel i am not alone…hopefully we can all have the blessing of being a mommy. In the meantime i am a mommy to my wonderful golden retriever!
LikeLike
It took me 2 cycles of clomid and 3 cycles of Letrozole to conceive my first baby. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl in 2009 May. She is now 6 years old and has a feeling of being the only child. So, we have been trying for the past 3 months for the second child and it is not happening. PCOS and my follicles dont grow bigger enough to release eggs. I have been on clomid for the past 3 cycles. Switching to Letrozole / Femara from this month. Hoping for a BFP 🙂
LikeLike
I wonder if endometriosis could have been at play? Tests can come up normal and the only way to diagnose is via laparoscopy. It’s so common I just always wonder when they say “unexplained infertility.” Happy you reached the light at the end of the tunnel!
LikeLike
My husband and I have been married for 5 years and not trying not to get pregnant all of those years plus actively trying to get pregnant for about 2.5. We had typical “unexplained infertility” – i.e., all of our tests came out perfect and we have no health issues (minus my thyroid which is well managed and blood work is always perfect). We took fertility meds and had multiple IUI’s and we were literally getting ready to do $30,000 IVF in just a few short months. I hit the proverbial ‘bottom’ – I was sad, mad, desperate, and out of hope. I read this article and it stayed with me for some reason. It’s something that people always tell you but you just have to look at them with that look and try not to scream at them – DONT YOU THINK I’M TRYING TO JUST LET IT HAPPEN?!$#:?! Anyway, I took a one month “wallowing in my misery” break – from everything. And I did wallow. I wallowed hard. The next month we had literally ONE totally spontaneous, absolutely not trying to conceive, baby dance. I thought I was getting AF and so I packed my purse with tampons and prepared accordingly. It never showed up. I couldn’t believe it. I had taken so many tests where I thought I was pregnant and had to stare at the disappointment of a negative result. I had watched my APP tell me I was 2 days late and hung on to hope only to have AF arrive and crush my soul. I was too afraid to test. I waited until I was 5 days late and then finally found the courage to go for it. Pregnant. That word I had waited so long to say. It’s still very early so hopefully everything works out and I have a healthy pregnancy, but after reading and crying over so many TTC posts I never posted once. And the only place I wanted to post now was here. Because for some reason this post really resonated with me and so I wanted to thank you for sharing. And for giving me a little bit of hope – when I was all out. Love.
LikeLike
Jana, this made my grinch heart grow three sizes! ❤ I am so happy for you, and will be keeping you and your sweet babe in my thoughts and prayers! Thank you SO much for sharing your success and your hope!!
LikeLike