#StartAsking About Little Lives Gone Too Soon

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Three.

You might have been three years old today.

We planned and wished and prayed and worked hard for you, but you couldn’t stay.  You were gone before we ever had a chance to know you. 

We miss you every day.

You’re inked in our skin, and written on our hearts.

You have a sister now… did you know?  She’s sweet and sassy and crazy and opinionated, and everything I hoped you’d be.  She’s an answer to prayers and the center of our lives. 

We feel like maybe you sent her to us, because she’s exactly what we needed.

She doesn’t replace the love we had for you, though. 

You were our first love, and you’ll always have a place in our lives.

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*****

For those who have struggled with infertility and loss, sharing their story and the lives of their lost little ones can help them to heal.  Sharing furthers the message that there should not be a stigma attached to infertility or miscarriage, and it gives us a way to ensure that our lost babes are remembered.

If you know someone who is struggling, ask them if they’d feel comfortable sharing their story.  If they are, maybe they will invite you in to see a part of them they’d never opened up before.  Maybe they will talk to you about the baby they still dream about, who could never be replaced.

Maybe they will do you the great honor of telling you the dreams they had for the little life gone too soon.  The greatest tragedy in loss, and infertility itself, really, is the unfulfilled hopes and dreams of a life that was never lived.  While our lost little ones never knew sadness or pain, the marks they left on us will be there for our whole lives through.

If you ever wonder if you can have an impact on another life, just remember that a tiny whisper of a life can, and has, shaped a heart, marked it with grief, and filled it with hope.  If that tiny life can do so much, be so much, then so can you.

It all starts with you, reaching out, caring, wanting to learn. 

#StartAsking and you never know what might be shared with you, and how you may be changed by what you learn.

#StartAsking now, and the stigma, the fear, and the shame in infertility and loss can be lifted.

#StartAsking about those little lives that have had such a big impact.  Your gentle inquiry means that they live on in yet another heart and life.

#StartAsking because infertility and loss are everywhere.  One in eight.  13% of your Facebook friends list.  At least one of your close friends.  Possibly one of your siblings.  Maybe you.

#StartAsking because the conversation should not stop.  This is National Infertility Awareness Week, but infertility awareness is a year-round issue.  For those of us who have struggled, and are still struggling, infertility awareness never ends.

#StartAsking for your sister, your friend, your cousin.  #StartAsking for those who have resolved their journeys, and those who are still in the trenches.  #StartAsking for the women in your life, and the men.

#StartAsking because no one should suffer in silence.  #StartAsking because the first step in supporting the One in Eight is starting the conversation.

#StartAsking now.  TODAY.  There’s no better time, and no better representative.  You can be the voice for those who struggle.  You can be the shoulder for those who grieve.  You can be an advocate for a change in how we look at infertility and loss.

You can be that change.  Those lives can live on through you.

#StartAsking.  The answers may surprise you, devastate you, enlighten you, and change you.

#StartAsking, and I guarantee you will not regret it.

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