The Infertility Oscars, Part Two

Hi all, 

I know I’ve owed you a Part Two for a while now, and I apologize for leaving you hanging.  The husband and I have had two devastating losses in our families in the past few days, and in the chaos that comes with grief, things like blogging have taken a back seat.  We certainly appreciate the thoughts and prayers over the past week, and look forward to remembering and celebrating those lives cut short too soon.

Thank you all, so much.

***

Okay, so where did I leave off…?

Oh right.

My speech.

Before I tell you what I said on the stage, let me show/tell you what I said in the space I was allowed in the evening’s program book.  This was to be more of a “thank you” space, and a spot to give further details because stage time was limited to a minute.

In case you can’t read that, this is what it says:

I’ve been blessed with so much support on this journey, and I’d like to take the opportunity to thank those who have been there with me every step of the way.  To my best friends from The Homeland (and beyond): without your constant love, understanding, and helpful reality-checks, I would never have been able to get through the difficult times.  To my in-laws and adopted Ohio family: thank you for giving me a home away from home, and an amazing built-in system of friendship and support.  To my TTC BFFs, my Pee-Stick Sisters, and the many loyal friends who read my ramblings on the daily: you are my sanity in this chaotic world, and without your wisdom, experience, compassion, kindness, and encouragement, I would have given up long ago.  To my parents, who always told me that I could do whatever I wanted in life: I now write about my reproductive escapades on the internet, so I hope you’re happy (and I love you, too).  And last, but clearly not least, to my amazing husband: you are the best friend I’ve ever had, and without your love and “contributions”, our dream of building a family would have never reached this level.  I love you with all of my heart, soul, and uterus.

I had to submit that thank-you blurb a few weeks before the event itself, but I was never sure if anyone besides the husband would ever see it, as he and I were the only two at the event, so I wanted to include it here.

The awards themselves started just after dinner.  I was to keep an eye on the schedule, and report to the back of the room during the award before mine, and then I’d be sent up when announced from the back of the room so I didn’t have to disentangle myself from the table.

While the award before mine was being presented, I started reviewing my notes and mentally leaving parts out for the sake of time.  I can’t honestly tell you what I said or didn’t say once I was up there, because I swear I blacked out in front of that mic and only came to when people started clapping.

These are my notes, and my best guess at what I said onstage as I accepted my award:

I really didn’t know what I was going to say up here until just recently.  I mean, clearly I’m honored, humbled, and so appreciative to be receiving this award, but there’s more to it than that.

.

Receiving an award for blogging in a world full of competitive media is pretty awesome.But receiving the Hope Award for blogging my way through infertility treatments, miscarriage, and the life that goes on while all of that is happening is nothing short of humbling.

.

.I am only one of millions going through the same things right now, and to have the privilege of voicing what some of those millions are going through is something I do not take lightly, despite the healthy dose of sarcasm I may serve up when writing.

.

I want to thank RESOLVE for this award, and for working tirelessly to advocate for all of us who are struggling with infertility.  Your organization has made it nearly impossible to feel alone on this journey, which is no small thing.  Thank you, truly.

I need to thank my husband Mike, who has supported me every crazy, hormonal, and terrifying step of the way.  He is my rock, though he may not always think so, and sometimes he is the only thing that can turn a bad day around.  I love you, babe.

We have an amazing support network of friends and family, as well, and they all deserve to be recognized individually – and they will, when there’s no threat of my being played off stage…

I also want to thank my parents, who always told me two things.  One, that I could do whatever I wanted in life.  Well, now I write about my girly bits all over the internet…

I bet a few of you thought I was going to say vagina right there, but I didn’t!

.

They also told me not to talk to strangers, especially on the internet.

.

They were wrong about that one.  The people I’ve met are not strangers, but sisters, comrades in arms, and true friends.  These are the people who really deserve the thanks here.

.

When I write, I do so for catharsis – and cheap therapy, but by detailing my every thought, rant, and uterine twinge online, I am able to connect with others who are going through exactly the same thing.

.

That is amazing. 

.

My infertitlity-friends are amazing.

.

And receiving this award for making friends on the internet?

.

AMAZING.

.

Thank you all, so much.

So that’s it.  That’s (probably) what I said in a room full of a good 300 doctors, lawyers, drug company execs, and fellow infertility advocates and sufferers.  That’s not even half of what I feel about receiving this award, but it’s the very best I could do in squishing it all down into a bite-sized morsel of thanks.

And that’s also the story of how I said vagina with the spotlight on me.  I don’t remember much, but I know it got a laugh, haha.

Always be yourselves, people.  Even if yourself is a little inappropriate…

Even if yourself is an awkward girl who makes jokes when she’s nervous, and doesn’t have the slightest clue of how to properly thank the people who helped me get where I am today…

Even then.  Be your awkward, inappropriate, self-deprecating self.

Thank you all for helping me be myself, and for thinking that myself is worthy of something so humbling.

This whole experience has been surreal, and I don’t know where it will take me, but I know that I won’t let this momentum die out.  I met some amazing people at the Night of Hope gala, and I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to stay connected with them in the future.

There’s so much more to infertility than timed sex and doctor’s visits, and I want to get involved and stay involved in improving the experience for everyone traveling this road.

I’m so inspired by you, by RESOLVE, and by others working to make a difference, that I can’t help but want to jump in with both feet…

Thank you all, again and again, for making this happen.

This is for all of you, my friends.

The rest of the photos from the 2013 Night of Hope gala event are posted on RESOLVE’s Flickr page. 

You can view them all here!