Day: September 29, 2013
Status

One Healthy Month

Sunday, September 29th, 2013.  CD30, 11DPO.

 

Hello, my friends.  🙂

I know it’s been quiet here, and I do feel a little badly about that.

I mean, it’s not like I think there’s anyone out there in Reader-land going “Oh sweet tap-dancin’ Jesus, what’s going on with Tracy??  I haven’t heard any TMI from her in AGES!  I hope everything’s okay!”

Well, in case there really is anyone thinking that, I’m here to reassure you, my one worrisome reader, that yes.  All is well here.

I also feel a little bad for the off-the-radar-ness of late, because I know that sometimes when mouthy infertility bloggers get quiet, it’s because they are harboring a fertile little secret.

Well, I’m also here to reassure you all that NO, I am not harboring any kind of alien creature in the depths of my pelvis.

As a matter of fact, I’m expecting good ol’ Aunt Flo to show up any day now.  There is one hundred and eleventy-nine percent chance that I am not pregnant, so please don’t be suspicious of my lack of communication…

However, let it never be said that I fail to update my loyal readership, and in that spirit, please enjoy the following review of the past month of acupuncture, TCM, and diet and lifestyle changes made per The Infertility Cure:

1.  I feel… better.  My digestion seems to be improved, and I attribute that to eliminating certain things like dairy, gluten, and sugar.  I’m also less bloated, less fatigued, and I wake up feeling more rested.

2.  I’m allowing myself to cheat.  As a rule, I don’t eat the above mentioned items, but I do allow myself to have a little of each thing now and then.  I’ve also taken to having the occasional glass of wine or hard cider (gluten-free, of course!) once in a while.  Nothing extreme, but a little chocolate after dinner won’t ruin all the progress I’ve made so far.

3.  I’m getting my life back.  I really do feel like even though I’ve undertaken some somewhat strict dietary and lifestyle changes, these adjustments are becoming part of my life, and not ruling it.  I’m no longer limited by having to work around appointments for blood work or ultrasounds constantly, and I actually enjoy my weekly acupuncture treatments.  I am able to see friends, and the husband and I can go out and do things when we want to, without having to plan around medications or appointments.

4.  I’m less obsessive.  This one I feel is the most remarkable difference, and one that can’t be contributed to anything but some sort of emotional shift within myself.  I did slip a bit and have been recording my temps again, rather than just letting Dr. McStabby have control over those, but I think I needed the buffer month to get used to the idea of letting it go.  I still write the temps down to bring to him, so it’s really hard for me not to notice a shift after having done this for so long.  I don’t spend all day submitting queries to Dr. Google, and I feel like I have more faith in the process than I ever have before.

More importantly, I have more faith in my body than ever before.  I feel like the changes that I’m making, and the good fuel I’m putting in every day, are really going to make a difference in the output I experience.  I’m already seeing those differences in my digestion and my energy levels, and I think it’s only a matter of time before other systems start to fall in line.  The hormonal system is the one that’s been impacted the most by years of general neglect and abuse, and so it only reasons that it will take the longest to come around.  I know it will, though.

5.  I’m focusing outward for a change.  For the past five years, I’ve been so focused on every little twinge or poke inside of myself, that it became consistently  harder to really have room for anything going on around me that didn’t have directly to do with my reproductive system.  That’s a fail as a wife, a kid, a friend, and as a person.  There’s so much going on in the world today that I can be a part of, and instead I’ve chosen to just focus on my empty uterus for so long.  I want to change that, and I’m trying to make a concerted effort every day.

One thing I’m doing is working with my amazing friend who had an idea to donate to RESOLVE.  You can read my previous post for details, but the gist of it is that if you buy some pretty goodies, all proceeds will be donated to supporting women with infertility.  That’s a direct impact.  I’m part of it, and you can be too.  Simple as that.

I’m also trying to be more involved with the people in my life.  It can be hard not to take things personally sometimes, and depending on your situation, you may feel a sense of personal betrayal when someone else, just living their life, does something you can’t do.

My coworker got a promotion, and I didn’t; dubya-tee-eff, mate?  Why not me??  My friend is pregnant – again – and I can’t even have ONE baby!  I feel so left out!!  My whole Facebook page is covered with pictures of my friends’ 5k races, and I’m told not to do too much because it’s not healthy for me to lose weight!  Why can’t I do what normal people my age are doing??

That kind of attitude has been getting me exactly nowhere but miserable for years.

No more.  I’m done.

Life is short, and if you have good people in it, then you’re one of the lucky ones.  Remember that they are in your life by choice, too.

Didn’t get a promotion?  Oh well.  Did you really want that particular job anyway?  Maybe there’s something else you’d rather be doing… maybe you should pitch your ideas to someone who can help you make a big difference, rather than take a tiny stair-step to middle management hell… Maybe something better is in store, and maybe you can make a difference for all of your coworkers by stepping up and saying something.

Not pregnant – again?  Boo-frickety-hoo.  It’s not like this is your first infertile rodeo, sister.  Get back up on that horse like you’ve done month after month for years.  And in the meantime, maybe that friend with two kids really needs some support, but is afraid to ask for it – especially from you.  You make that mommy a casserole, put on your big girl panties, and go hold that baby while she takes her first shower in a week.  You can cry when you get home, but it’s better to have been a friend have something to feel good about, than to have stayed at home and wallowed in your self-pity.  Plus, you now have leftover casserole.  WIN.

Can’t run a 5k?  Dude, really?  Are you sad about this?  Who likes to get sweaty?  Plus there’s the risk of thigh-friction-burn… Ew.  Instead, volunteer to pass out water to the runners, and after the race, you can take your runner-friends to get cheesecake.  You can always do some low-impact yoga when you get home, and how you’ve not only donated your time, been able to hang with friends while doing it, AND had cheesecake, but you can feel good about yourself, too.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’ve come to this insane epiphany that life isn’t revolving around ME, oddly enough.  Nor my uterus.  Weird, right?

I’m doing more, giving more, and getting more than ever, just by moving my focus outward.  I highly suggest giving it a try.  🙂

So anyway, that’s me.  It’s been quiet here, but only because I’ve been keeping busy with things that maybe have less to do with my reproductive system, and to be honest, it’s felt good.

Whenever Auntie shows up, that will conclude the first full cycle of TCM I’ve had so far, and to be honest, I feel better in so many ways.  I feel good about my life, and about those in it – you included – and while life may take me away from blogging from time to time, it’s really a healthy step for me.

Despite my occasional absence here, I do still read, listen, and observe.  You are all in my thoughts and prayers, and though I’m trying to keep my own fertility-challenged-ness off my radar, your struggles are always on my mind and in my heart.

Thank you all for stopping by, checking in, and thinking of me, too!

I shall love you all forever and always, and if the zombie apocalypse truly does occur, you can all come hide in my basement for at least the first week.  When the canned goods run out, though, all bets are off.  🙂

Have a fantastic week, my friends!

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