Woman, Control Thyself!

Wednesday, May 29th, 2013.  CD18, 4DPIUI.

I’m a patient person.

I guess I would have to be, right?  If this journey has taught me anything, it’s that things don’t always happen on the schedule you prefer.

Though, while I’m patient, I’m also very much aware of how little control I have over this process.

That itself makes me antsy in my pantsy.

There are some women out there who can go through an entire medicated cycle serenely following the doctor’s orders, taking each tiny uterine twinge with a grain of salt, and generally not over-analyzing the whole process.  These are the women who wait the full fourteen days after their IUI to bust out their one and only pee-stick, and accept the results of the test without question.


I ask questions.  I check up on things.  And double check.  And sometimes triple check.  I follow orders if I think they suit my situation, and sometimes alter them a teensy bit if I think I know better.  I assume any little gas bubble is my perfect little embryo implanting itself in my uterine lining like the itty-bitty allstar it obviously is.

I analyze.  And over-analyze.  I Google, and chart, and blog, and hit up the forums online.

I also don’t wait until The Safe Zone Test Day to find out if the cycle is a success or failure…

I test out the trigger like it’s my JOB.

If you’re new to fertility treatment protocols or the affects of certain medications, let me give you a quick rundown:

In some medicated cycles, after a woman has taken pills (Femara, Clomid) or injections (Gonal F, Menopur, Bravelle, Follistim, etc.) to stimulate their ovaries into producing mature follicles, the doctor will have them use a trigger shot to cause ovulation to occur within a predictable amount of time (36 hours, typically).

A trigger shot is usually a form of HCG, which is the pregnancy hormone.  Ovidrel, Pregnyl, and Novarel are common trigger medications, and these are usually injected with a short needle into the tummy fat, or with a bigger needle into the “hip” (read: BUTT MUSCLE).

When you inject HCG into your system, it causes ovulation, which is what you want, but it also causes you to give false positives on any home pregnancy test (HPT) that you might take.  This hormone in your system will wear off after a few days, but until that point, you should not consider any HPT you take to be a true positive.

There are some who “test out the trigger”, which means that they (I) take an HPT every day to watch the false-positive test lines get lighter and lighter until they fade to white completely.  Once there is no longer a danger of a false positive, the patient in question (ME) can assume that any positive test result she receives thereafter is a true positive, and not the effects of the medication.

This seems to me like the only possible way I can maintain any semblance of control over what’s going on with my body for two straight torturous weeks.

I usually wait to start till around 7DPO, knowing that trigger shots tend to stick around in my system for well over a week.  This cycle, however, I figured I’d go ahead and start early.  Like three days past trigger early.

Yep.  I’m that girl.

So that’s that.

I am a trigger-tester-outer, and I’ll not apologize for it.

It’s what I need to do to feel like I am participating in this process in some way… It’s a way to center myself each morning, knowing that my body is doing what it’s supposed to do in removing the trigger-caused HCG from my system to make way for the true HCG that would be caused by an embryo implanting in my uterine lining.

Some women float placidly along through their Two Week Wait, enjoying their days, blissfully unaware of what may or may not be happening in their uterine cavity at any given moment.  I imagine these are also the women who wear white yoga pants and dance on the beach during their periods, but I digress…

Other women pee in a cup every morning, and spend an absurd amount of time with their faces entirely too close to strips of peed-on paper, analyzing them and looking for any indication that their HCG level may have increased instead of decreased overnight.

I’m the latter, take me or leave me.

Happy Hump Day to you all, and I wish you all the mythical peaceful optimism that comes so naturally to some…

I also wish you realism, and hope that your pee-stick mania doesn’t lead to any awkward moments in the bathroom with your husband asking why there’s a cup of pee next to his toothbrush.

To each their own, just be sure to clean up your bodily fluids thusly.  🙂


Pee-Stick Addiction is a real thing, and its sufferers are real people. Like me. And this blogger here.

6 comments on “Woman, Control Thyself!

  1. Bettiann
    May 29, 2013 at 11:34 am #

    Best of luck!!


  2. lydiaseeks
    May 29, 2013 at 1:40 pm #

    I love it when I leave the pee cup out by accident. My husband loves that too.


  3. Kitten
    May 29, 2013 at 1:52 pm #

    I tested out my trigger twice. It was a fun experiment, but so depressing to see that line fade away and never come back. So, now I wait to test. BUT, I’m the neurotic hopeless optimist who keeps testing even AFTER I get my period.


  4. A Morning Grouch
    May 29, 2013 at 5:13 pm #

    omg! i had never heard of trigger testers, that is sort of crazy and sort of awesome. we always did blood work to determine pregnant or not (not so fun) so once i started treatments i never bought a pregnancy test. I was sort of sad to not see the double lines, ya know? I almost bought one after I knew i was pregnant just to see them.


  5. newtoivf
    May 30, 2013 at 10:01 am #

    Ha! I get the feeling I’m going to be a trigger tester! I’m definitely not a ‘wearing white pants whilst waiting for my period’ kind of a girl…I learnt that lesson in a rather mentally scarring incident during my teens!


  6. Adrienne Irwin
    June 1, 2013 at 2:05 am #

    Hi, I just discovered your blog! I struggled with IF for 3 years—the issue for me ended up being gluten—3 mos after going (not-even) totally GF we finally got our baby.

    Now fast-forward 3.5 years and I have two babies–including one with SERIOUS WIDE-RANGING food allergies. I am talking, to every food. Already vegan and gluten-free I have had to cut out corn, soy, night-shades (tomato, potato, eggplant, pepper), most beans, most grains, all nuts, all seeds…chocolate, caffeine, kale, spinach, all berries, olives, avocado….you get the drift.

    Anyway before we figured it all out my son had such bad eczema that I was told constantly to bring him to the ER …. of course after 3 years of IF in which no doctor gave me any answers I found myself once again turning circles for the AMA and their shitty approach to medicine….

    And once again modern medicine failed me 100% and didn’t help me at all with my son. BUT I did find a solution and it’s actually an IF cure as well, which is why I share it….


    It is more than eliminating foods. It is an extremely complex process involving detoxing heavy metals, supplementing with trace metals, supporting the 3 phases of liver detox, eliminating sensitivities and GMO and packaged foods from your diet….etc. I see you have done much of this, but I think possibly there are other pieces that could help you. Gut-Healing is often synonyms with GAPS diet…Check it out.

    I hope my advice is not unwelcome. When I was on my IF journey I was looking everywhere for answers, and I was back there again trying to deal with my son’s sensitivities. So if you are in the same vein hopefully you understand why I share it.

    Anyway this is the Genius that finally helped us…

    She’s (kinda?) expensive but obviously IVF is more expensive! If you want to learn more about gut-healing for free, I started this group recently just to share things I’m learning with those interested:

    Regardless of the path which your life journey takes you, I very much hope that you soon have a little hand to hold along the way…most sincere best wishes. (((HUGS)))

    –Adrienne Irwin


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