Just Stop Trying and It Will Happen...

I was inspired by a blog post I read the other day.  This blog is written by a non-Infertile who probably has no idea who I am or what I’m going through, but it got me thinking nonetheless.

In this post, the blogger asked “What kind of mom are you?”

Now, I’m not currently parenting any little people, but that line of questioning put me down the path to some revelations.

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What kind of Infertile am I?

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I’m the Infertile who doesn’t give up hope, even when things feel completely hopeless.

I’m the one who shares her embarrassing stories of being dildo-cammed in the back office of an optometrist’s office in the hopes that it makes someone else smile.

I’m the girl who still dreams of having a family, even though historically, I have reason to give up that dream.

I’m the Infertile who asks the annoying questions.

I’m the one who always wants to know how and why.

I’m the girl who keeps pressing for information.

I’m the Infertile who won’t take “unexplained” for an answer.

I’m the one calling the doctor two, three times per week, asking for more testing and digging for results.

I’m the girl who does her research.

I’m the Infertile who hopes that her doctor sees that she is trying to help shed light on anything that might be a systemic red flag.

I’m the girl who keeps a binder of her medical records, test results, ultrasound photos, and particularly interesting research the same way that some people keep a scrapbook of their vacations.

I’m the girl who will keep searching for a diagnosis.

I’m the girl who can’t “just relax”.

I’m the girl who will help my doctor fix whatever is wrong with me.

I’m the girl with the lady-balls enough to move on if I’m not being heard.

I’m the girl who will be heard.

I’m the girl who will get better.

I’m the girl who will one day be a “former-Infertile”.

I’m the Infertile who won’t give up.

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What kind of Infertile are you?