.
Haiku For My Shedding Uterus
.
Holiday of love
Emotions flowing freely
Also flowing: blood
.
Punctuate with care;
This, and grammar, are crucial.
F*cking period.
.
***
.
Ode to the Medicated Cycle
.
There was a determined young lady,
Who very much wanted a baby.
But there were only ten days
In her luteal phase,
And the meds made her go batshit crazy.
.
***
.
A Sonnet: In Appreciation of My Heating Pad
.
My heating pad is what I love the most.
It soothes my muscles when I’m feeling tense,
And heats me up like I’m a damn rib roast.
Clearly it’s worth the very small expense.
.
I bought it one day because I hurt my back,
I liked that I could use it dry or damp.
At times, my muscles still get out of whack,
But mostly it alleviates my cramps.
.
Its warm embrace helps keep my pain in check,
Without it, I’d perhaps be homicidal.
Today though, I’m a menstruating wreck;
I guess I’ll just stay home and take some Midol.
.
***
.
So, yeah.
Suck on THAT, Shakespeare.
.
Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day.
.
I hope Cupid has more up his sleeve for you and yours than he did for me and mine.
I mean, I know I can’t be the only one who prefers chocolate, roses, and a night in with their lover to tampons, pain killers, and the company of cats and crap TV.
.
Can you feel the love tonight? 😉