So about today…

You know how some days you have basic underlying expectations of how a situation will play out?  Largely because you’ve been through it so many times before, and because you’ve never really had much variance from the usual end result…

Well my rendezvous with Doctor Dildo-Cam was like that.

Except when it wasn’t.

I went into the office like usual.  Sat in the waiting room, got called back into the office and showed to an ultrasound room, and asked to wrap up in a sheet like always.

As I sat on the exam table waiting for the ultrasound tech with the festive name to come in and prod me, I was surprised to find myself being nearly accosted by Nurse GrumpyPants, who had just spoken with my insurance company.

Apparently, 2012 was a year of feast, and the insurance bigwigs had come to the conclusion that 2013 would need to be a year of famine.  While my understanding was that insurance would pay for four injectable meds cycles, that was then, and this is now.  Three injectables cycles is the new lifetime max, and I have reached it.

The nurse gave me this news rather unceremoniously, and told me I had to make a decision RIGHT NOW.

With my pants off.

She agreed to let me think for a minute, alone in the same room where the doctor had confirmed my miscarriage, the room where my husband and I cried for our lost Gummy Bear, and left me to decide whether I wanted to pay nearly two grand today for an ultrasound and to get the medication fast enough, or skip this cycle altogether.

I thought about all the reasons to just go through with it…

At the top of my list was “Well, I already have my pants off…”, which is a thought that got me in trouble in college on more than one occasion, so ultimately I decided just to take a month off.

I was upset at first, but I immediately started to formulate a plan.  I’ll confirm that insurance will still pay for an IUI cycle, and if so, we will pursue that next month.  I’ll order and pay for the meds, and since I have more time, I will attempt to get them from overseas to save some moolah.  If insurance will pay for the IUI and monitoring, we can give that one last go before we start thinking about moving on…

In the meantime, I’m going to make the most of my “time off”.

I’ve already broken into a lovely bottle of Moscato that a good friend brought us for a housewarming gift, and I plan to indulge in some sinful caffeine tomorrow, too.  I’m even watching American Idol, which I know for a fact is bad for my health.

Life never really goes as planned, but sometimes a detour can take you places you may really enjoy.  I am hoping to enjoy the next month, and I’m excited to see what February has to bring.

Even when life is bad, life is still very good…



By the way, this is the smuttiest, most awesome cookbook ever. EVV. VERR.



7 comments on “Detour

  1. Kelly
    January 17, 2013 at 9:12 pm #

    Screw grumpy people! They couldn’t have had the courtesy of telling you all that BEFORE you took your pants off? Ick. I’m sorry. I hope this month off goes well for you and I’m praying for ya!


  2. Amber Smutny
    January 17, 2013 at 9:49 pm #

    I love your optimism!!! Keep it up and still go like bunnies. It’s half the fun right!!!


  3. Tyger
    January 17, 2013 at 10:12 pm #

    Wow, that makes for a crappy day for you. I’ve been contemplating my first IUI cycle for next month…been in a break for a couple of months. Good luck!


  4. cassiedash
    January 18, 2013 at 12:23 am #

    I love the last sentence, but I’m so sorry for having to take time off and for the grumpy nurse. I do hope you’ll find a way every day to enjoy your time off, though!


  5. ~kboo
    January 18, 2013 at 2:51 am #

    Well, Crap. That sucks. You should show Ms GrumpyPants who’s boss and just get your BFP on your own! Hmph! Then you can call her and say, “Plblblblblb!!!” (That’s the sound of the tongue out and blow thing.) 🙂


  6. Kitten
    January 18, 2013 at 7:52 am #

    Well, that sucks! You have a great attitude, though. Enjoy your wine and caffeine (but not Idol; no one can enjoy that, can they?).


  7. Kimberly
    January 18, 2013 at 10:05 am #

    You are awesome to be able to see the positive in this situation!


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