Monday, January 14th, 2013. CD24, 10DPO.
I’ve been having some crazy dreams the past few nights, and last night was no exception.
I tossed and turned with some of the vivid situations playing out in my head, and then I just woke up. From that point on, I think I just hovered on the edge of sleep and waking, and little wisps of sad dreams floated by until my alarm went off.
I feel like this restless night was probably a big part of the reason why my temp dipped so low today, but a small part of me hopes that maybe it’s an implantation dip. (A slightly bigger part of me, that has the voice of my friend Kboo, knows that I shouldn’t count on temps at all during a medicated cycle, lol…)
The “dream” I was having just before I woke for good was not a happy one.
I was basically flipping through images of all of my friends and family, counting how many children they had all brought into the world since the husband and I started trying for a baby of our own in March of 2009.
It seems like hundreds.
Couples have met, dated, gotten engaged, married, honeymooned and then procreated in that amount of time. We’ve just been stuck, stagnant, trying in vain for what seems so far away.
I try not to wallow, but when you’re dreaming, you’re a captive to your subconscious.
I woke up on that sad, bitter note, and I’m finding it difficult to trudge my way up out of the funk.
On a somewhat lighter note, I have continued to test out the Ovidrel trigger over the weekend, and can report that this morning’s test was so barely-there that I’m calling it a BFN.
Wondfo Progression – Ovidrel 12 days past trigger/10dpo
Here’s hoping for some pink lines to wrap up the week…
Sorry for sad dreams. 😦 We’re already tortured enough during waking hours. Seems cruel that the same should have to happen in sleep too. Dreams should be an escape from reality! Not a continuation of it. My eyes tricked me for a second that today’s line looked darker than yesterday’s, but I’m probably just hoping too hard for you! Fingers remained crossed, lady.
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Dreams tell the truth sometimes, and I think more often than not, they bring what you bury right to the surface.
I go cross-eyed looking at these darn tests, but I took one last night too (not pictured), and it was barely there. This one is pretty much just gray… Evap, if anything. 😛
Thanks for the crossed fingers, friend! Better than crossed-eyes! 😉
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Sorry to hear about your bad dreams. I’m the same, and I find they come and go (maybe it’s hormones?). I just try to assure myself that bad dreams are my mind playing out my fears in my sleep, and not a sign that anything bad’s going to happen. Good luck to you 🙂
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Dreams can SO affect you even after you’ve woken up. BLAH. You try to shove shit into your subconscious, and then your damn dreams won’t let you ignore the pain. Stupid brain.
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Dreams are tricky little suckers – sometimes their meanings are clear, other times they make you do a mental double-take. I’m sorry that yours are making you wake feeling blue.
It is definitely good to know that the trigger is out (what a nice, clean progression – I’ve recently decided wondfos are the devil…) and, FWIW, i think a restless night would keep your temperature up, not push it lower. So an implantation dip is definitely a possibility.
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Let’s hope for a great week to come. Back on the wagon here. I am hoping the same for you. I hope you get good news soon. I love you and I am sending my very best!!!
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I’ve had some of these types of dreams lately. Especially since I found out that one of my best friends is going to have a baby & a coworker is pregnant too. A lot of pregnancy announcements this past two months & me? Still nothing. I’m going through my second IUI this month & crossing my fingers this is it for me. Hang in there!
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