Fair Warning…

Monday, December 10th, 2012.  CD14, 2DPO…?

While I am feeling pretty iffy about our timing this cycle, and feeling pretty detached from the whole process in general, I am planning to still institute my “radio silence” campaign toward the end of next week.

I haven’t talked much with the husband about what we plan to do if this turns into a BFP cycle.

Will we tell everyone right away?

Will we wait till we see a beating heart?

Will we wait for the twelve-week “safe zone” to arrive?

I just don’t know.

We are still a little traumatized after our miscarriage, but one thing that helped immensely was the fact that everyone knew.

There were very few times that I had to tell anyone that I had miscarried, because we were very public with the news.  I feel like if it’s in the cards for us again this cycle, then maybe we should just come out with it immediately.

At least if everyone knew what was going on, we would have that support built in again…

Then again, my instinct is to play it close to the vest.  Not because I am ashamed of having miscarried, or because I want to keep secrets (because we all know that’s not my style!), but just because it seems easier to grieve in private… and yet, we value the support of everyone we know.


A conundrum, to be sure.

If I were a betting broad, I would say that the scales tip in the favor of being entirely public about the whole thing, whatever the outcome – BFN or BFP.

Plus, it’s difficult to keep secrets when you scrawl your woes all over the interwebs.  😉

And I don’t know what I’d do without all of you… I have never been a great secret-keeper, and I’m just not a very private person.  I like to share.

I may over-share from time to time.

Or all of the time.

But I like to feel that I am maybe helping one person to feel not so isolated in their feelings, or their journey.  This all sucks royally (by the way, am I the only one who feels like Princess Kate is a backstabbing hooker for getting pregnant before me??), and at least by sharing with all of you, I feel better.

Maybe you feel worse for reading it… but you have a choice to stop.  I have no choice but to go on, every day, whining about my barrenness.  You can just quit reading if you want…

But I bet you won’t.  I think you secretly like reading about my dusty uterus and adventures with prescription drugs and dildo-cams.

Thanks for sticking around you bunch of pervs.  🙂

I wouldn’t have it any other way!


Also, while searching for a funny picture of Princess Kate, I found this.




8 comments on “Fair Warning…

  1. Kerri
    December 10, 2012 at 10:05 am #

    I hope Andy and I run into you and Mike this holiday season but if we don’t…..HUGS for both of you!


    • Tracy
      December 10, 2012 at 10:25 am #

      I hope you do too!! Thank you, friend!! ❤


    • Tracy
      December 10, 2012 at 10:25 am #

      Oh, and I hope we have some GREAT news for you when we DO run into you!! 🙂


  2. jackie
    December 10, 2012 at 12:29 pm #

    We are all here for you no matter what!! 🙂 whether you wait to tell or you burst it out, we support your decisions and we pray for joyful outcomes! All will be good girl….all will be god!


  3. Kelly
    December 10, 2012 at 12:55 pm #

    First of all, that cat picture is awesome. Like, amazingly funny 🙂

    Second, for what its worth, Im here for ya either way. I love your blog, happy or sad. I love your outlook on everything and love your spirit. I even love your pinterest….lol. you may not dig mine but that’s okay. I dont take it personal. But Im here for you either way!


    • Tracy
      December 10, 2012 at 1:43 pm #

      Aw thanks, friend!! I feel terrible because I’ve been so… self-involved since the miscarriage. And maybe before. I have been slacking on so many things, and trying to play catch-up on the blogs I adore (yours!), but it’s just hard sometimes… I also have been shirking Pinterest a bit lately because has taken control of my LIFE, haha!

      But seriously. Thank you. 🙂


  4. Julie Conley
    December 10, 2012 at 2:45 pm #

    You kill me, hilarious… Anyhow, sending you positive juju, as always. Mwah!!


  5. infertmyrt
    December 10, 2012 at 9:09 pm #

    so true! you’re too funny, love the pic!


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