Just Stop Trying and It Will Happen...

Wednesday, October 24th, 2012.  32DPMc.

Soooo… not a whole lot new here.

Still alive.

Still healthy.

Still no Aunt Flo.

What the French, toast?

I guess I’ll just… hang out?  Wait for her to arrive?  Assume that she’s going to come as soon as I have something fun or important planned?

Yeah.  Sounds like her.

Bitch.

In other news, yesterday was the one month-iversary of my miscarriage.  It was a sad day for me, but also an empowering one.  I am talking about this openly in my real life.

At work, at home, with family and friends… Even with people I’ve just met.  It doesn’t really make me the life of the party or anything, but people know I was pregnant.  People know that although my baby isn’t at home with me, I am still a mother.

It’s a little awkward sometimes, but then again, so am I… so it works.

Also, I have been thinking about a tattoo in memory of my Gummy Bear.  I called the artist who did my last tattoo a couple of weeks ago to discuss some ideas with her, and she said she would call me back to set up an appointment.

Well, she called last night.

And had an appointment cancellation, leaving a slot open for me… tonight.

Sooo… this is it.

On my wrist… out in the open. The feathers may fly away, but a piece of my heart will always go with them.

Gummy Bear doesn’t have a nursery or a baby book, a grave stone or ashes, but I will always have this reminder that my baby was real.

My baby lived.

My baby was loved.