Shootin’ Blanks

Friday, October 12th, 2012.  19DPMc.

Well, it finally happened…

I’m finally shootin’ blanks!

…On the HPTs, that is.


That last one on the bottom is from this morning, and is, thankfully, negative.  Yesterday’s result still showed the faintest of lines, so I decided to wait on getting my final beta drawn.  Unfortunately, I was running late this morning and half my team at work is out sick, so I decided to wait until Monday to have that last blood draw of the cycle.

It really should be zero by Monday, if it’s not already.

I’m ready for zero.

On the plus side of things, I’ve stopped bleeding and spotting altogether.  The horrible nausea also seems to have slowed down… nothing like getting morning sickness for the first time AFTER your miscarriage, eh?  Ugh.

I feel almost normal these days.  Aside from the occasional migraine, but the frequency there might be slowing down, as well.

So we’re on the other side of the storm…

Now what?

I suppose now we wait.

Wait for this cycle to pass, wishing away a month until we can start over again?

Wait for time to tick away, hoping it takes some of the sadness and uncertainty with it?


If I have to wait a month (or even longer) to try again, then I’m going to spend the next month living.

There’s a lot going on in this grand live the husband and I lead, and we are going to focus on that.

We may not have been so fortunate in the fertility department, or in keeping our baby once we managed to get pregnant after so long, but we are fortunate in so many other ways.

Happy Friday, friends!  🙂


3 comments on “Shootin’ Blanks

  1. Shelley
    October 12, 2012 at 11:29 am #

    You’re amazing. I remember that feeling of just wanting to move on ASAP. I’m glad things are moving in the right direction and even more encouraged by your positive attitude! Hope the next month flies by and is packed with lots of life indeed!


  2. Katie
    October 12, 2012 at 3:33 pm #

    I just finished my “wait month” and it was so nice just to live! Glad you are moving forward, too!


  3. Amber Rose
    October 12, 2012 at 8:26 pm #

    We have two months to wait now that the D&C post op is okay. Two cycles and then we can try again. I’m petrified to try again but I guess practice makes perfect. If at first you don’t succeed.
    Fingers crossed for both of us.


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