Day: February 28, 2012
Status

The Wa-eee-aaaiting Is the Hardest Part…

February 28th, 2012.  CD20, 6DPIUI.

Well… I’m hanging in there.

But I’m having trouble concentrating on anything but my reproductive system.  This is a problem… Especially at work.

The general consensus around my office is that I am, in fact pregnant (even though no one could know that yet), and that I will be having twin girls.

It’s preposterous, I know.  But I kind of love it.  I just want it so badly.  Not even the twin thing, while that would be splendid, but the pregnant thing.

I want it.

I want this IUI to be the magical fix-it my busted uterus needs.  I pray daily (and nightly)(and a lot in the shower) that this will work.

I really want to start buying pregnancy tests… but so far, I have restrained myself.  I don’t even venture down the feminine product aisle at the grocery store unless I have to, and I avoid trips to the pharmacy if at all possible.

Tomorrow is my progesterone draw, along with an ultrasound, I assume to verify that I am not developing cysts from the medication.  I have this fear that they will tell me that no ovulation took place, and that this cycle is a bust.

You see?  I am fantasizing about great outcomes AND bad ones.  I am clinging to every little thing my body is doing, trying to make each tiny thing into an early pregnancy symptom.

Heartburn?  Pregnant!  (No, I’m sure it’s not because I ate an entire pineapple in five days…)

Sore boobs?  Pregnant!!  (Well, I guess it could be normal, but what fun is that?)

Tired?  PREGNANT!!!  (This is absolutely not because I stay up far too late at night searching the interwebs for pregnancy symptoms like mine…)

And so, you see – I am crazy.

I’m sure the progesterone supplement doesn’t help with the crazy, but I’m hoping that I will find tomorrow that it’s helping with my body’s ability to support the pregnancy I hope is in the process of formulating right now.

We shall see…

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