Countdown To Adulthood… Maybe.

So, today is the last day of November.

That means that tomorrow is December 1st.

Which means that the day after that is my 29th (*cough*THIRTY-FIRST*cough*) birthday.



I honestly never thought I’d reach this age without having children.  I always figured I’d be done having kids completely by the time I was twenty-five… You know, after I’d Doogie-Howser-ed my way through veterinary school and cured cat cancer.

Ever heard that saying “Men make plans and God laughs“?  …God has a sick sense of humor.

There are a lot of things that high-school-freshman-Tracy thought she would have done by age thirty-one.  Things that have not yet happened.  Like graduating from college.  Or buying a house.  Or knowing what I want to be when I grow up.

Actually, sixteen-year-old-Tracy probably thought that thirty-one-year-old-Tracy would be a grown-up, but here’s the funny thing:  I have a hard time seeing people without children as “real” adults.

I work with a man who is married and has two little girls.  He is in my age range, but I always assumed he was older than I am… Not because he looked it or anything… I just assumed.  I recently discovered that I have a good four years on him.  I am technically more of an adult than he is because of my age, but I feel like he is a more mature individual because he has a family.

Let me clarify.  I believe that the twenty-seven-year-old HR rep with two kids that sits across from me is more mature than this thirty-one-year-old infertile cat lady.  Today, he only spoke to me in quotes from the Will Ferrell classic, Anchorman, and yesterday when I mentioned cooking a meal in a Dutch oven, he giggled for ten minutes. 

This is what I consider to be mature, only because he can reproduce?

I guess that’s how life works sometimes… I will officially enter my thirties no more of an adult than I was when I was sixteen.

Maybe I shouldn’t have tried so hard not to get knocked up back then.  Hee.


Anyway, enough of this talk of maturity.  Let me tell you about my phlegm.

The past week has been a whirlwind.  Thanksgiving was great – lots of great food and company, and I drank an entire bottle of wine.  Black Friday was nice too – the husband and I did some housekeeping, went to breakfast, and bought our first real Christmas tree together.  Then we went to see a giant lights display at the Toledo Zoo, and I somehow acquired a Sister Wife.

The next day we went to a football party at our friends’ house, where we watched sports in the yard on a big screen TV in front of a bonfire.  That’s what you call a perfect little autumn day, right there.

We also drank.  A lot.  Somewhere in there, I caught a cold.  Probably from inventing drinks made with peanut butter vodka and something called Adult Chocolate milk, and sharing them with no less than six other people.

Sixteen-year-old-Tracy knew from experience that Thanksgiving meant cold season was in full swing, and that spending her birthday sick was just part of an annual tradition.  She also probably thought that by the time we reached full maturity at thirty-one, we would have figured out how to avoid said annual tradition.

Yet another thing the teenage me had wrong… I’ve got some kind of sinus-y, sore-throat-y, mucus-y plague.  Oh, and the cough has just begun.  Hooray… Bring on the birthday cake.  And Robitussin.  For cold symptoms this time, not for thinning out my cervical mucus.

On the upside, I’ve almost completed my initial chiropractic treatment regimen, and have responded so well to the adjustments and physical therapy, that Dr. Bonecruncher is going to let me scale back my treatments to twice a month rather than twice a week.  If I keep making this type of progress, I will probably only need once per month adjustments starting in January.

I’ve also talked to her about the acupuncture her office offers… She mentioned to me that it might be something great to try, and also mentioned looking into acupressure, which her office does not perform.  Do any of you faithful followers know anything about acupressure for fertility?

Oh, and at the risk of taking on yet another half-hearted attempt at improving my fertility, I’ve recently been considering going gluten-free.  I haven’t been tested for celiac disease, mostly because I know my insurance won’t cover a dime of it, but I’m looking into it.  It would be a huge sacrifice, but I think I could do it.


And who knows?  Maybe cutting wheat out of my life altogether will improve my skin, which occasionally decides to freak out and act like sixteen-year-old-Tracy is trying to escape through my very pores.  Ugh.  That is the one thing I though I would enjoy about being thirty-one, but alas, I am infertile like an old woman and have zits like a young one.

Can’t we all just get along??


7 comments on “Countdown To Adulthood… Maybe.

  1. Lo
    November 30, 2011 at 9:27 pm #

    If it makes you feel better I in the same boat. And my birthday is the day before yours. 🙂 Happy early birthday, Tracy!


  2. Justine
    November 30, 2011 at 10:37 pm #

    My birthday is the 5th. Happy early birthday!

    I didn’t have my first until I was 32, and then my second at 37. I’ll be 38 this year. If anything, IF made me more of an adult earlier on than I would have liked … there’s something to be said for valuing life because it doesn’t just happen when you throw away BC.

    Not that it makes it any easier to be in that place. 😛

    Hoping you’re able to celebrate with something more than chicken soup.


  3. zygotta
    November 30, 2011 at 10:53 pm #

    i thought i will have my first before turning 24 and my second before turning 30

    instead, i conceived my first baby on my 32nd bday…

    happy bday – and i hope this year will be your lucky one!!!


  4. ~kboo
    December 1, 2011 at 1:08 am #

    I’ve done Amma Therapy off/on for the last two years. It’s somewhat like acupressure. I really like it because you get the same benefits of acupuncture, but it’s also like having a massage at the same time. As far as the benefits for fertility, I think there have been several studies showing that it’s helpful (most of the studies are around IVF, but it should apply to everything, I would think). When I first started going, it helped lengthen my luteal phase and simply helped me mentally (as in our favorite word, “relax”).

    Hugs to you my young friend. (Yes, you ARE young – otherwise I would be old and I can’t be old yet!)


    • ~kboo
      December 1, 2011 at 12:06 pm #

      Oh, and a Sister Wife?? Hopefully she can cook. It’d sure be nice having someone else around to help with chores, errands and such… Maybe she could battle the crowds and do your Christmas shopping, too. 😉


  5. TurtleMama
    December 1, 2011 at 10:10 am #

    31 is young, my friend! You’re right where you need to be. You are a Mrs., right? I think that is what separates you from your 16 yr old self. Hope your cold gets better. As far as celiac, I think you would know it if you had celiac disease. Lots of diarrhea and stomach pain after eating wheat. Some people are gluten sensitive, but do not have celiac. The celiac test is a simple bloodtest, but it probably would be expensive without insurance covering it. You could probably eliminate wheat from your diet for a couple of weeks and see if you notice any differences in your body. I tried that a while ago and didn’t feel any different, except hungrier!


  6. Katy O'Dell
    December 1, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

    Um, can I just say that peanut butter vodka and adult chocolate milk sounds Ah-mazing!

    Also, I’m sure I’ve mentioned that gluten-free made a difference for me. Either way, if you try it and need support (because yes, it’s a little hard), let me know. I have found a way to make pretty much everything gluten-free. GF pancakes are pretty incredible. 🙂


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