Month: August 2011
Status

Misery Loves Company. And Midol.

August 31st, 2011.  CD1.

Had my beta this morning at 8:25am.  By 9am, my uterus was all like “Hey, why does the arm get all the attention?  Maybe if I bleed too, I can get some love!”

Wrong answer, uterus.  I hate you.  Now my arm and my pelvis ache, and I have a pimple on my forehead that has grown so large that I’m pretty sure it’s about to get its own period.

Ugh.

To add to the list of things that suck about this day, I found out that a friend from high school who is 33 weeks along with twins just lost one of her babies, and is being very carefully monitored to make sure the other twin stays healthy.  Another friend is also having a hysterectomy tomorrow in response to a recent uterine cancer diagnosis, wrecking her chances for ever having kids.  I feel just awful complaining about Aunt Flo with things like this going on in my extended social circle…

Screw you, August.  Bring on September.

There’s gotta be better to be had than what we’ve got…

By the way, does anyone know how I can go about getting Midol to sponsor my blog?  Seriously, I’m tired of advertising for them free of charge.  Of course, if they did give me money, I’d probably turn around and spend it on fertility treatments… So from a business perspective, their investment would probably run itself into the ground.

…Maybe I can market myself to the heating pad companies…  Or whoever made these divine stretchy pants.  I heart stretchy pants.

Status

Backward Desserts

August 30th, 2011.  CD27, 11DPO.

Life is crazy, but as a wise man once said, it goes on.  Tomorrow, it will take me back to the lab for my beta, regardless if Aunt Flo shows her ugly mug tonight or not.

And I’m betting she will.  Usually when I eat chocolate cake for dinner, something’s up.  Also, there’s been the cramps and bloating and the general feeling of dying from the inside out.  That usually gives it away.

Then again, another wise man said “Life is short.  Eat dessert first.”  Or maybe it was a woman.

Sounds like something a woman would say.

I’m too lazy to Google the author of that particular statement, sorry folks.

And now for a little update on something in my life not related to my woefully barren uterus:

The move-out of the old apartment in the Detroit suburbs is complete.  Signed off on that place today, thankfully, which means that the move-in process can officially start.  We have our furniture mostly in place and all, but it’s not really home yet.  The paint isn’t finished, which is the biggest thing, and once that all comes together, I can get some things on the walls and it will feel more like home.

On a related note, I waited till I knew the husband was good and drunk at Toledo’s German American Festival before I told him how much money I spent at Ikea last weekend.

Those damn Swedes and their modern decor really have my number, I’ll tell ya what.  Then again, so do the French, because I spent almost as much at Target the same day.  Guess I better control myself, eh?

As far as the new job goes, I am really enjoying it.  It’s busy, and complicated, and I’ve been assigned to two different projects simultaneously, but it’s everything I want in a workplace.  Nice people, a kitchen, a secret passageway to the coffee shop downstairs that makes the most delicious tea lattes you’ve ever tasted (it tastes like Christmas in my mouth!), and an unlimited supply of post-it notes at my disposal.  I have set hours, and an hour-long lunch break, which is making it easier to actually consume the amount of calories I need to in a day, plus I am not on my feet all day burning said calories, so I may actually put on a few pounds!

Oh, and if I keep it up with the lattes (and bagels… did I mention the bagels?), that will probably move the weight-gain process along nicely.

And cake for dinner doesn’t hurt either.

God, I love cake.

Status

I Think I Overextended My Vagina.

August 20th, 2011.  CD17.

Seriously.  I haven’t had this much sex since college.  My girl-parts are getting as much of a work-out as the rest of my body is from moving heavy objects.  Sheesh.  Our timing is much better this month, and I triggered on Wednesday without flinching.  I’m getting the hang of this, but I hope that injecting myself with ovulation-inducing medications is a skill I will be able forget soon enough.

Temp rose nicely this morning, so I will probably be able to report an accurate DPO by Monday.  Progesterone test on Wednesday, and beta a week thereafter.  This cycle is coming right along.

Oh, and I’m the busiest EVER right now.  I can’t imagine doing all of this while working full time, but starting Monday, that will be my reality.  I’m terrified, and nervous, and freaking excited.

The move is nearing completion.  Well, the move out is nearing completion… The move in is going to take some time.  We have a bed set up and half the paint on the walls, though, so it could be worse.  Our cats are currently living in another city in their own apartment, so that’s going to have to be remedied soon.  Perhaps tomorrow.  …I wonder if the dog’s crate will work to transport Charlie?

My family is coming to visit this weekend, so that will be nice.  I haven’t seen them in ages.  I really can’t remember the last time we were all together, and that’s sad.  Plans for tomorrow include back-to-school shopping with my mom and sister (my mom works at a school, and my sister is in middle school… and I’m starting a new job, which is pretty much like going back to school… right?), and sending the husband with my dad to pick up a washer and dryer for us so we can stop using my poor mother-in-law’s facilities to wash pet hair out of our rugs.  Poor woman.

As for today, I am about to wake the husband so he can help me shop and fill our sad empty cupboards with delicious yum-yums that I won’t have time to cook for at least a week.  On second thought, maybe we should buy some TV dinners or something… Better put that on the list.  We are also baby-sitting our two small nephews this afternoon, which should be super fun!

…Also, do they call it “baby-sitting” because when the kids don’t mind, you just sit on them?  …I’m an awesome aunt.  And I bet I’ll be an even better mom one day.  Tee hee.

*(If my lovely sister-in-law is reading this, don’t worry.  I promise I won’t sit on your kids!)

 

Aside

Quick Update

So, nothing like waiting till the last minute…

I got a call during the last hour of my last day at my current job letting me know that I’m being offered a position with the place where I interviewed on Tuesday!

I’m totally excited.  It’s the perfect opportunity for me, and the environment is amazing.  I can’t wait to work on a team instead of feeling like I’m under the gun all the time in the bridal salon.

Whew!  One less thing to worry about…

…One thousand others to follow.

Tomorrow, though.  I will worry about the one thousand other things to be done tomorrow.  Tomorrow begins the big move, and with it, the rest of the stress involved in relocating to a new city.

For tonight, I’m giving myself a break and watching my DVR-ed soaps in bed.

It’s possible to pre-deserve a break, right…?

 

Status

Chaotic

August 11th, 2011.  CD8.

The one word that describes my life at present?

Chaotic.

1.  My last day of work is tomorrow.  Not my last day of work at my current job, but my last day of work for the forseeable future… I do not have another job lined up in our new town.  Yet.

2.  I am currently waiting to hear back about an interview I had on Tuesday.  The job seems so perfect for me, and I know I would love the new challenge.  I sent thank-you notes to follow up with the interviewers, and received an email back from one of them letting me know she thinks I’m perfect for her team, and that she is working on an offer for me.  …I only hope it all works out.  We are definitely not prepared to be a one-income couple just yet.

3.  We are moving on Saturday… that’s two days from now.  My whole life is half in boxes and half waiting to be packed up.  The new place has yet to be painted, and the current place needs to be touched up before we can leave it for good.

4.  Sunday is the day our move should be mostly complete.  Paint will be dry and furniture will be moved in.  We should be able to stay the night in our new home in three days…Even if we do end up sleeping on a mattress on the floor the first night or two.

5.  Monday is the settling-in day, and thankfully the husband has the day off of work.  The cable and internet installer will come by, and we will be able to arrange furniture, set up our kitchen, and put some nails in the walls.

6.  Tuesday is the day I’m planning to move the cats from the current place to the new place.  I still have yet to call the vet and find out how much sedative is appropriate for a 28-pound cat… Oh, and not to throw anything else on my already heaping plate, but Tuesday morning is my appointment with Wandy at the optometry office.  If Ollie is growing well, I will be instructed to trigger by this time next week.

…And with the trigger comes the other thing.  The Sexy-Time thing.  I barely know what that is anymore, to be honest.

You see, what with the stress of the move, the husband’s identity theft issue, my untimely UTI, the subsequent antibiotics that made me rather pukey, Aunt Flo’s unwelcome arrival, and the Femara side-effects, we have had somewhat of a dry spell lately.

Like the Sahara.

But hey, nothing like an exhilarating big change in life, and some new paint on the walls to inspire one to get back on the horse, as it were.

…I’m sure the husband appreciates being referred to as “the horse“, by the way.

You’re welcome, honey.  Now the whole world knows.

Anyway, if I’m distant for the next week or so, you have officially been warned as to why that may be.  I’m hopeful that once our new internet service is installed, I will be able to update you on the progress of this cycle.  The progress of the move may be slow, but by the end of August three things will be certain:

1.) We will have officially and completely made the transition from residents of the Detroit suburbs to residents of the Toledo suburbs, 2.) I will know if I will have a new job to go along with the new place, and 3.) we will either be pregnant… or not.

Either way, it will be good to put this month behind us and I’m already looking forward to the future in our new home.

…Whether our guest bedroom will transition into a nursery remains to be seen…

Status

I Don’t Care What They Say, Heroin Addicts Don’t Have it Easy…

August 7th, 2011.  CD4.

Well, there are still many questions surrounding my unexplained infertility, but of one thing I am absolutely certain:

I cannot possibly have enough blood left in my body to survive one more blood-draw this week.  Seriously.

As if I wasn’t already a bit too thin and prone to having lovely dark under-eye circles, having my arms bruised and full of puncture wounds really does pull together the whole “heroin-chic” look I’m going for these days.  Maybe I will also stop combing my hair, which has reached the length I like to call “sister-wife”.  Speaking of which, I wonder where the Olsen twins shop for their clothes…

Thaaaat's a bony bitch. Just sayin'.

Anyway, allow me to update you further…

After Aunt Flo arrived in style on Thursday, life-ruiner that she is, I called Dr. Fran’s office to cancel my beta (blood pregnancy test).  Since I’m taking Femara, they asked me to come in for the beta anyway so they could be one-thousand percent sure I was not pregnant before allowing me to continue with any further fertility treatment.  Apparently there can be complications with pregnancy if you take certain meds while pregnant, or so I was schooled over the phone.

…The nurse on the phone did not think that my accurate-yet-graphic description of “bleeding as if I’d been shot directly in the vagina” was enough to allow me to skip out on the blood work.  Safety first, I guess.

So I worked all day Friday, which must have been the single busiest work day EVER.  I mean, why wouldn’t it be?  I’m just dragging my shell of a body around the sales floor, trying to keep a smile on my face for the happy new brides, and sneaking off to the office to cuddle with my heating pad and load up on Midol while the brides’ mothers argue with them about veil choices.

Is this not how your job also works?

Oy.

Saturday morning, even though I was so nauseated I could barely move, I dragged my ass out of bed at 6am and got myself presentable for a trip to the doctor.  The blood-draw took a grand total of about 3 minutes from door to check-out desk, and I was home before my husband even got out of bed.

And then we went to our niece’s birthday party.  Which is a story worthy of its own post.  Details to follow, I promise.  But just so you know, there was a clown.  Yeah.

During said party, I got the call from Dr. Fran’s office with the “unfortunate news” about my negative beta.

Yeah, yeah.  Remember the vaginal gun-shot wound?  I kinda knew I wasn’t knocked up, but thanks for the call, mmmkay.  Aside from that sparkling little tidbit, the nurse relayed some info from Dr. Fran: she will not let me go quietly to another doctor in Toledo, because she feels that we are on exactly the right path right now, and to stop would be to lose momentum in what she feels is a short journey to pregnancy.  She was practically yelling, she was so adamant.

I mean, how could I argue with that kind of enthusiasm?

And so, I will continue with the Femara and Ovidrel this cycle.

Oh, and get this–I will be able to have this month’s monitoring appointments in the back room of Dr. Fran’s husband’s optometry office that operates in a city closer to Toledo.  Just me, that weird eye-exam chair, and a nurse with a portable ultrasound machine.

Creepy, or convenient?  Only time will tell…

Now that you’re fully up to speed on the condition of my reproductive system, I’ll update you on the progress of our move.

The move is coming up more quickly than I can move my ass, and there is still much to be done.  I should probably head off to do some of it…

Ugh.

Status

Another One Bites the Dust

August 4th, 2011.  CD1.

Well… I guess I’ll be cancelling my pregnancy test appointment for Saturday morning.

Ugh.

Back to the drawing board…

Status

Mexican Monday

August 1st, 2011.  CD24, 8DPO.

Just a quick update and then I have to go make tacos!

My progesterone test came back with a 19.8, which they said was good.  Anything below a 15 is apparently “worrisome”.  Glad I am not worrying the doctors, but some days I just wish they’d find something wrong with me so there could be a clear reason I’m not a mom yet, dammit.

…I swear I’ll work on my language if I ever do get pregnant.  Probably.

Anyway, while I was at the office on Saturday, I had a urinalysis done just to see if I maybe had a mild urinary tract infection.  Something just didn’t seem right, if ya know what I mean.  The preliminary test came back negative, but the lab work produced a positive result, so I now have a shiny new antibiotic to take for the next week.

Yay, more drugs!  (Please tell me you can sense the sarcasm…)

So anyway, there’s that.  Super fun.

Oh, and today I realized that I will be smack-dab in the middle of my six-year-old niece’s birthday party, and meeting another family member’s brand new baby girl for the first time, precisely when the doctor calls to tell me whether or not I’m pregnant on Saturday.

…Auntie Tracy might have to take a time out if this thing comes out unfavorably.

Anyway, time for dinner.

Feliz Tacos!

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