RE-Day, Epilogue

This is totally going to be me: On my period and all smug and Zen and crap. Just wait.

Alright, first of all, thank you for following all of this madness today.  I wish this blog had a Facebook-like status update button so I could have avoided bogging down the whole site with teeny two-sentence posts.  Alas, I am not that savvy, and so, again, thank you for sticking around!

The rest of RE-Day went a little like this:

After a bit of a wait (and a delicious lunch), I was brought in for my date with the ultrasound wand, which is just as much fun as it sounds.  The very nice ultrasound tech told me a few things I already knew (thanks to a good friend!):  My uterus is retroverted, my egg supply looks good in both ovaries, and all of my girl-parts look like they’re healthy and in the appropriate places.

She also asked me what cycle day today is for me, and I told her–CD15.  But, I said, I have long cycles and ovulate late, so I don’t expect ovulation for another few days, maybe even a week.  Trust me.  I chart these things.  Religiously.

The very nice ultrasound tech informed me that it looked to her like I already had ovulated on my left side.

Wait.

What?!?

Pardon my French, lady,  but No Freaking Way.

I have never ovulated before CD17 that I can remember.  Ever.  Not even when taking the Clomid.  I mean, I haven’t been using OPK’s lately, but I have been temping, and my temp dipped and went up… a little… But I really didn’t think anything of it based on how early in my cycle it still is.  Is it crazy to think the full moon had something to do with it?

The good doctor (who I think looks like Fran Drescher, but does not sound like her, thank GAWD) came in and repeated the ultrasound just to verify, and whaddaya know… It’s CD15 today, and I’ve already ovulated.

So this must be what it feels like to be a normal human being!  I wonder if my cycle will last 28 days, and if I will be able to wear a white sundress while twirling on the beach during my period like the women in the tampon commercials!  Psshyeah… Maybe I’ll also start to piss glitter and crap rainbows…

Luckily, the husband and I had some non-purposely-timed nooky two days before I suspect said ovulation occurred, so hey–maybe this freak of nature cycle will yield some positive results after all.

You tell me–ignoring the fact that I never ovulate this early, does this look like an ovulatory temperature pattern to you?

Okay, enough of that.  The people with the medical degrees think I ovulated, so I guess I did.  Moving on.

Dr. Fran also wants me to gain more weight.  Ten pounds, ideally.  We are on the same page there.  She recommended a book to check out, The Fertility Diet, but I didn’t get a chance to ask her the author’s name.  (Thanks go out to a special someone who pointed out to me that there are two books with this title that are very different.)  Dr. Fran said that she doesn’t recommend this book to every patient, just those who could use a few extra pounds.  She made sure to tell me that, so that if I told my friends who may also be TTC-ing, they wouldn’t go ahead and eat whole fat foods and red meat left and right and blame their unhealthy weight-gain on me, her, or the book.

I had blood taken.  Lots of blood.  I found it hilarious that there was a copy of Twilight wedged into the magazine rack in the lab where they bled me dry.  I’m not sure what exactly they’re testing for with the blood draw… I have copies of CD3 blood work on file that were sent over from my Ob-Gyn, and they were normal.  Dr. Fran said there was no need to repeat them.  It’s too early for CD21 labs, which are also already on file.  Any ideas what they’re looking for?  I was concentrating on sparkly vampires to keep from passing out, so I kind of forgot to ask.

I was also given some paperwork to read over “at my leisure”.  As if anything about this TTC journey has been leisurely…  In the packet was a sheet on cystic fibrosis.  After reading over the info (and Googling it.  For shame.), I am now convinced that Dr. Fran thinks I have this disease.  I am too much of a hypochondriac to take home lists of symptoms like that!  I assume they want me to be tested for the disease before I get pregnant, and to have the husband tested to be sure we aren’t also carriers.  But still… It could explain a lot of my issues.  Oh, and shorten my life by half.  No big deal.  Ugh… now I have to get tested.

She also recommended yoga for exercise and stress management, two things I tend to neglect.

Let’s see, what else… Oh yes.  The Plan.

So, The Plan is to wait out this cycle, take an HPT on CD1, and then call the office to let them know I’m not pregnant.  They will then start me on Femara (which was recommended, I think, because it might be less likely to cause cysts).  I will take that on CD3 – CD7, and then report to the office on CD13 for monitoring, and possibly to talk about an Ovidrel injection.

The Extended Plan consists of two months of the above regimen, and if there’s no bun in the oven by the end of the August cycle, then we shall proceed to The Plan, Part Deux: IUI.

This lady ain’t messin’ around.

And I like it!

All in all, today was a success.  I have hope for the future, and I have faith in Dr. Fran’s Plan.  I keep telling myself that she will be able to sort me out and get me pregnant.  This has to work.  Planning ahead for negative outcomes is not helping, so it’s time to be as positive as I can be.  Calming vibes.  Om.  And other such yoga stuff.

I guess I will spend the rest of my unexpected two week wait looking for a yoga studio.  And a mat.  And new stretchy pants.  Oh, and probably a monogrammed water bottle.

If I have to start a new lifestyle in order to get knocked up, I may as well accessorize, right?