Like a Crime Scene In My Pants

April 30th, 2011.  CD1.

Well folks, Aunt Flo is in town for her regularly scheduled visit.

Not that it’s a surprise or anything, but this cycle was so strange, I half-expected her to stay away for a while longer.  Oh well, I suppose.  No help for that.  Moving along to other things…

So, on Thursday I traveled a few hours across the state to visit my Friend the Sonographer and have her take a look at my goodies.  It was all purely for education, of course.  She got her check-offs for her internship, and although all I did was lie there and hold my breath when instructed, I learned a lot!

My kidneys and spleen are beautiful, apparently.  Also, when you’re skinny, all of your organs are packaged up very neatly, which sonographers really like.  I was happy to be a model case study.

The experience was pretty much what I had imagined.  I had expected to have every organ from my chest to my nether-regions inspected, and to be covered with ultrasound fluid.  I even Googled a picture of the Wand so I would be mentally prepared for that particular encounter.

One thing I hadn’t counted on was the golf-ball-sized cyst on my right ovary.

I’ve been having some pain/pressure/bloating in my right inner-hip bone area for about a week, but I figured it was just a result of the crazy timeline my hormones have been following this month.  Well, that, or gas.

Turns out I was wrong on both counts.

The image on the screen was mostly shades of gray and grayer, and right there in the middle was a giant black-hole, about which my friend said, “Whoa, that’s a big cyst.  But don’t worry or anything, it’s probably not a big deal.”

I mean, I know she’s right.  Plenty of women have ovarian cysts.  They get bigger and smaller and usually don’t cause problems.  I hope mine is one of those.  I’ve heard that cysts can be caused by lots of things, and none of them sound pleasant, but I suppose in the grand scheme of things it’s not so bad.

My Friend didn’t see really see anything that clearly said PCOS to her either, which is a blessing.  I guess I’d rather have one big cyst that’s a major pain in the ovary than a whole bunch of tiny ones that are blocking all of the baby juju.

So, there’s that.  I had a hellish day at work yesterday, started out on a better foot today (until Aunt Flo came knocking), and am now home spending some quality time with my cyst and my heating pad.

Good times, right?

I feel that I should also mention that I watched the Royal Wedding (on the DVR, so that I could fast-forward through the choir boys and ugly hats).  I mean, I work in bridal.  I kind of had to.  As much as I felt it was a necessity for being able to participate in future workplace conversations, I rather enjoyed it.  I thought Wills was handsome in his suit, and I fancy myself a much less-refined Kate Middleton.  I thought her dress was lovely, but I couldn’t help thinking that her boobs were a bit pointy for my taste.  Still though, very nice indeed.

Errmm… The wedding was nice.  Not the boobs.  Gah.  Okay, both were nice.  I’m going to go ahead and blame the heavy overconsumption of Midol for this commentary on the future Queen’s boobs.  Sorry.

Also, I would feel remiss if I didn’t mention that today marks the end of National Infertility Awareness Week.  I suppose I should have marked the beginning of such a week somehow, but this blog is my self-important catharsis and I’m aware of infertility all the time.

So there.

Oh, one more thing–the movie “No Strings Attached” wasn’t exactly an Academy Award winner or anything, but yeah, I saw it.  Its only redeeming quality was the fact that it did spawn one great Aunt Flo-related line.

Enjoy, and, as always, sorry for the TMI.

8 comments on “Like a Crime Scene In My Pants

  1. ebc
    April 30, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

    oh my gosh—i totally thought they were a bit pointy too! glad to finally hear someone comment on that! 🙂


    • Tracy
      April 30, 2011 at 9:05 pm #

      I have my hands full of bridal boobs all day (literally), and I know that $900 can buy you a dress with more natural looking boobs than that $300,000 garment!

      I guess that’s my only complaint though. She still looked like a dream, pointy boobs and all. 🙂


  2. Justine
    May 1, 2011 at 9:40 am #

    Your title cracked me up, despite the fact that the news itself isn’t so great. I hope that your friend is right and the cyst is nothing …

    Too funny about her boobs …


  3. zygotta
    May 1, 2011 at 5:56 pm #

    maybe you’ll be one of those people whom the fertility clinic discovers to be already pregnant. The blood lab nurse told me it happens often enough (people schedule the appointment and relax about this whole issue – and then it just happens :))


  4. Mo
    May 1, 2011 at 6:20 pm #

    A crime scene in my pants!! I love it!
    And I have to disagree. If I were the camera director on the royal wedding – I totally would have JUST taken footage of those hats. They were insane! I loved them!


    • Tracy
      May 1, 2011 at 7:41 pm #

      Some of them were incredible! …Then again, some of them were incredibly ugly, lol. (I’m looking at you, Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice.)


  5. Sonographer friend :)
    May 4, 2011 at 7:10 pm #


    Read this and pay close attention to the functional cyst section. Ignore the cysts under complications because it did not resemble those types at all 🙂


    • Tracy
      May 5, 2011 at 10:29 am #

      Thank you, friend! 😀 I do feel better now knowing that it didn’t look like some kind of monster growing inside of me. I will also have you know that I set up an appointment with my Ob so she can take a look at my friendly neighborhood cyst and if she thinks it’s an issue, she might be able to get me into the fertility center sooner.

      You are amazing, and you’re going to be so great at this job. I don’t know what I’d do without you! XOXO


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