“Out”

I think I just officially “outed” myself as an Infertile on my personal Facebook page.

It’s a little nerve-wracking, but freeing at the same time… The status update that’s been floating around Twitter really got me, and I couldn’t help but throw it up on my own page, too.

“Infertility is a heart-wrenching, faith-questioning, relationship-testing, life-altering experience. April is Infertility Awareness Month. Whether a friend, a family member, a colleague or yourself has fought through this difficult fate that MILLIONS of people are fighting day in and day out, post this as your status if you or someone you know has walked to hell & back for the chance to be a MOM.”

I hope there’s no negative backlash, because there’s no going back now.

I’m out and proud!

…And scared.  Yikes.

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8 comments on ““Out”

  1. Nancy@thefertilityblogs
    April 7, 2011 at 8:19 pm #

    lol! You go, girl!

    Like

  2. mommyodyssey
    April 7, 2011 at 8:35 pm #

    I hate to break it to you – but you didn’t come out. My BF, who is anything but an infertile woman posted it on his status too, and I copied and pasted, and except for a few “likes” no waves were made. The only way to really “come out” is to plainly put it in your status. I have been toying around with several ones myself. Debating between: Been a hard day, kind of tired, oh – and I’m barren.
    Or possibly: “I am happy to announce that after 5 months of recovering from the emotional trauma of my second miscarriage my hubby and I are trying again”
    Or my personal favorite: I’m really fertile. NOT.
    But I do relate to your sense of relief/fear. I felt the same way when I posted that, because I keep my blog completely out of facebook, it was rather surreal.

    Like

    • Tracy
      April 7, 2011 at 9:23 pm #

      You might be right… I am seeing a lot of my mommy-friends posting the same thing, so maybe the people who don’t know me well on my friends list will just assume I’m being sympathetic. I haven’t been entirely silent about my struggle, but I haven’t exactly come right out and said it either. Maybe I should follow your example…

      “Been a hard day, kind of tired – and I’m barren.” LOL! Love it! 😉

      Like

  3. Carmela
    April 8, 2011 at 1:31 am #

    I think you posting that on your status is sort of coming out. Or at least it’s making people aware – and for all they know, you could be one of those million infertile people. Making a statement about it is standing up for IF and breaking the silence. Thanks for breaking the silence. It takes a lot of courage.

    I also made my status something like that, I stated my disappointment in PETA for offering vasectomies for people that spay/neuter their pets. I said how insensitive it was for them to say it was ‘in honor’ of National Infertility Week. Now, I know that’s not outing myself, but people must be wondering. Most of my close friends know, so my stand on the whole PETA thing isn’t a surprise. Other fb friends will be wondering why I’m so upset about it – they must assume. Either way, at least I broke the silence about infertility for the first time on my personal fb profile. And that my friend, is quite a big step. I’m out, proud, and also scared. We’ll be scared together. Way to go!

    Like

    • Tracy
      April 8, 2011 at 8:29 am #

      Thanks, Carmela! Well… things got a lot more “out” overnight. My mom posted a comment on my status, something to the effect of “You’ll get there, honey, and it will all be worth it!”

      I really wanted to post something about the whole PETA war, but now I think it might be overkill for my Facebook friends. A little at a time, perhaps, lol…

      Like

  4. Mrs. S
    April 8, 2011 at 9:35 am #

    I thought about doing this too, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to go through the whole thing over and over with everyone on my page. The pity, questions, well-intentioned and unsolicited advice, or the awkward silence. How has the response been for you?

    Like

    • Tracy
      April 8, 2011 at 9:25 pm #

      You know, it hasn’t been bad! I got a few nice comments from supportive fringe-friends who it was nice to hear from, and a few “hang in there!” emails from people I know who’ve been through this themselves. I haven’t seen any pity or received any advice, but I’m sure that will all come in time… probably at the family gatherings, lol.

      All in all, nothing traumatic, nothing life-shattering, nothing but support.

      Like

  5. Olive
    April 9, 2011 at 7:46 am #

    Hi,

    Good for you!! I just struggle telling people, as the harder you try to explain the less they understand…. then I stopped coz if one more person tell me to just relax then it will happen I will kill that person!!!!

    There are medical reasons, it is not something that is prevented by stress or you overthinking the fact that you wanna be come a mommy!!!!!! Sorry I am letting off steam and was only suppose the support you.

    Good luck! Somebody asked me yesterday if I have a uteris, said yeeess not knowing what is coming, the lady said unless you say you don’t have one you have hope!! I really enjoyed hearing this from this lady as she has been struggling for 9 years, have 4 MS – she is still trying and helping others copy with the journey we are all on!!

    Don’t give up

    Like

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