Archive | September, 2012

When September Ends

Sunday, September 30th, 2012. Tomorrow is Monday, and a new workweek begins. Tomorrow is October 1st, and a new month begins. As much as I’d love to rush September out the door and start all over, today is a day of reflection. I spent most of this month pregnant. I spent most of this month […]

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Monday, September 24th, 2012.   Warning:  This post is very graphic, but I need to record it for myself, and for others who may find their way here because they don’t know what to expect of a Cytotec-induced miscarriage. I was not able to find much information online when I went looking, but the few […]

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Soundtrack Sunday :: Somewhere Over The Rainbow

People all over have been seeing rainbows the past few days. I haven’t, despite the rainy and sunny cool fall weather. I know I’ll get my rainbow someday… It’s just the days between then and now that are going to hurt.  

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The bleeding and cramping finally started. It hasn’t really gotten bad yet. I keep expecting it to get worse… I actually hope it does. I haven’t taken any of the Percocet, either.  The pain isn’t unbearable, and at this point, I want to feel it. I feel like if I’m not in pain, then none […]

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Stalled Out

I’ve had some time to recover from the shock of the news we received on Tuesday, and figured I should update you all on what’s happened since then. The husband and I spent the rest of Tuesday alternately sleeping, watching mindless TV, grieving, and eating our feelings.  Our feelings taste a lot like starchy comfort […]

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When Feathers Appear…

When feathers appear, angels are near. Have you ever heard that phrase? I’m not sure where I heard it the first time… maybe one of those psychic medium shows. I’m not sure how much of that stuff I really believe anyway. Angels?  Sure, I think they exist, but are they really trying to send us […]

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I’m Ready.

Tuesday, September 18th, 2012.  8weeks, 4days. I’m ready. Bring on the ultrasound. I’m prepared for today. I know my odds, and I have reconciled all imaginable outcomes. I have a gut feeling, and I’m hoping to be wrong. Whatever today brings, however good or bad, it will surely bring answers. That will have to be […]

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One More Sleep…

Monday, September 17th, 2012.  8weeks, 3days. Tomorrow is the day we get answers. Tomorrow is the day our baby’s heart beats, or we start preparing to miscarry. Tomorrow is the day we can emerge from Limbo and start to move on… Hopefully. One more sleep leaves us on the brink of a changed life. Tomorrow […]

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8 Weeks

Friday, September 14th, 2012.  8weeks. I really didn’t think things would be so up in the air at eight weeks pregnant. Honestly, I thought I would be announcing our happy news on Facebook at this point.  I thought I’d spend the nights I’m alone while the husband is at work using my awesome new home […]

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Wednesday, September 12th, 2012.  7weeks, 5days. I felt great yesterday.  It was a beautiful, fall-like day in Southeastern Michigan/Northwestern Ohio, and things at work felt like they were really coming together.  The team is almost fully back to normal after a few important people had been missing due to extended illnesses and injuries, and after […]

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Summertime Sadness

A safe space where I discuss the racing thoughts in my head, personal struggles, and day-to-day activities while struggling with mental health and mood disorder issues. My personal goal is to reduce the stigma that comes with mental health and mood disorders, by talking more about it.

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