Month: February 2012
Status

Progesterone Day

Wednesday, February 29th, 2012.  CD21, 7DPIUI.

Well, my ultrasound appointment went well this morning.  My uterine lining is nice and thick, and the doctor said that’s exactly what they want to see.  I believe it measured over 18mm.

My progesterone level wasn’t as spectacular as I thought it might be, however.  14.6.  Not terrible, but I figured it would be higher since I’m taking 200mg of Prometrium daily.

Oh well… It’s still all good news today, and hopefully the trend continues!

Happy Lump Day, everyone!

(Leap Day + Hump Day = Lump Day)

Status

The Wa-eee-aaaiting Is the Hardest Part…

February 28th, 2012.  CD20, 6DPIUI.

Well… I’m hanging in there.

But I’m having trouble concentrating on anything but my reproductive system.  This is a problem… Especially at work.

The general consensus around my office is that I am, in fact pregnant (even though no one could know that yet), and that I will be having twin girls.

It’s preposterous, I know.  But I kind of love it.  I just want it so badly.  Not even the twin thing, while that would be splendid, but the pregnant thing.

I want it.

I want this IUI to be the magical fix-it my busted uterus needs.  I pray daily (and nightly)(and a lot in the shower) that this will work.

I really want to start buying pregnancy tests… but so far, I have restrained myself.  I don’t even venture down the feminine product aisle at the grocery store unless I have to, and I avoid trips to the pharmacy if at all possible.

Tomorrow is my progesterone draw, along with an ultrasound, I assume to verify that I am not developing cysts from the medication.  I have this fear that they will tell me that no ovulation took place, and that this cycle is a bust.

You see?  I am fantasizing about great outcomes AND bad ones.  I am clinging to every little thing my body is doing, trying to make each tiny thing into an early pregnancy symptom.

Heartburn?  Pregnant!  (No, I’m sure it’s not because I ate an entire pineapple in five days…)

Sore boobs?  Pregnant!!  (Well, I guess it could be normal, but what fun is that?)

Tired?  PREGNANT!!!  (This is absolutely not because I stay up far too late at night searching the interwebs for pregnancy symptoms like mine…)

And so, you see – I am crazy.

I’m sure the progesterone supplement doesn’t help with the crazy, but I’m hoping that I will find tomorrow that it’s helping with my body’s ability to support the pregnancy I hope is in the process of formulating right now.

We shall see…

Status

Paranoia

I’m freaking out.

I feel like the timing of this IUI was all wrong…

I triggered on Tuesday at around 6pm because my blood work showed that I was starting to have an LH surge…

I had my IUI on Wednesday around 11am, and my temp did not rise at all today.  I’m still having fertile cervical fluid, and I’m fairly certain I haven’t ovulated yet…

Was that IUI too early??  I wish I had pushed for an ultrasound to be sure when I went in for the IUI, but I didn’t.

And now I feel like my little sea-monkeys are going to be tired (or dead) by the time the egg drops…

GAH!

Any success stories out there?  Comforting words?  …Anything to help me take my mind off of what I fear my body is doing wrong??

In the meantime, this is what I’m trying to do:

Status

Insemination Day

Wednesday, February 22, 2012.  CD14.

Well… I just feel odd.  Sitting here at my desk, at work, thinking about what is (hopefully) going on in my uterus right now.

It’s also odd knowing there’s nothing I can do but wait.

And eat pineapple.  I’m eating a whole pineapple, core and all, this week.  It’s supposed to aid in implantation… and probably heartburn, too.

Anyway, things went well this morning.  The husband made his “deposit”, which Dr. Amanda told me had all the numbers they were looking for.

It was a very surreal experience when the nurse walked in, handed me a vial, and asked me to read her the names on it to make sure I was getting inseminated with the right sperm.  LOL.

My cervix is sort of off to the side (and I have a retroverted uterus), so that made things a wee bit difficult when attempting to get the catheter into my cervix, but it all worked out in the end.

I laid down, got inseminated, hung out reading my book for 20 minutes, and then got dressed and left.  Not so romantic, as baby-making goes, but hopefully it will be successful.

I am spotting a bit, and it may be in my head, but I feel some… fullness, maybe?  …In the uteran region.

From here, all I can do is wait.  I have an appointment for progesterone testing and a follow-up ultrasound next Wednesday, and then my beta will the following Wednesday.

Oh, one other thing… Have I mentioned that I’m superstitious?

I kinda am.

I have received gifts over the years from friends and family and coworkers to help me along this journey.  These gifts include three bracelets, earrings, a Catholic saint medallion, and a bottle of pink champagne affectionately known as “Juju Juice”.

Today?  I wore ALL of it.  Well, not the champagne.  But I have some in the fridge still, and I might take a teensy sip of it tonight just for good measure.

Anything that can help, I will do.  And what can all of that hurt?

Also, today is 2/22/12.  I feel like this is lucky… I don’t know why, but I do.  My mom conceived me when she was 22, and my brother’s number in all of his sports endeavors in high school was always 22.  Today is also the birth date of the person mentioned above who gifted me the Catholic saint medallion.

Oh!  And yesterday, my blog had 222 views!!

Oh, and I saw a hawk!

I don’t know if that’s good luck, but a hawk landed on my patio (in the suburbs – not so common!), the day before this cycle started, and it was in the tree outside our window the next day too.

This morning, while I was leaving the apartment to head to my appointment, I saw that hawk again!  It was in a big tree, and I swear it was watching me.

I hope it’s a good luck hawk, and not a bad omen hawk.

I know this is all ridiculous, but it’s something I can hold onto until Beta Day.  Things that give me tiny spurts of hope when doubt starts to creep in.

I will take what I can get these days!

Status

Uhh… Change of Plans.

I just got the call from Dr. Amanda with the research study, and my blood work shows signs that I am starting to ovulate on my own.

I have been instructed to trigger immediately (or when I get home from work, since I conveniently left my scary injectable meds and giant syringe at home), and then report back for IUI tomorrow morning.  The husband goes in at 8:30am and I go in at 10:30.

Crazy that I am going to be getting shot full of his swimmers while he isn’t even in the building.  LOL.

Anyway – now the nerves set in!!  Gotta remain calm… just your regular, every day ordinary turkey bastin’.

Holy Crap.

This.  Is.  Happening.

 

Status

Ollie 2: The Lonely Follicle

Tuesday, February 21st, 2012.  CD13.

So, for the second (very early) morning in a row, I have had blood work and an ultrasound to see how the mystery meds are helping me along.

Yesterday, I had one lonely follicle on the right that was of any merit.  Ollie 2 measured about 15 yesterday – too small to trigger.  Through this research study, I need to have two follies at 18 or higher before they allow me to trigger.  They also allow me to trigger if I have one follie that has been at 18 or up for two days, OR if I appear to be ovulating on my own.

As it stands today, Ollie 2 is measuring 17.5.  Depending on the blood work, I will likely go back in tomorrow morning for another pass of the wand to see if Ollie 2 has made any further progress.  If so, I will trigger tomorrow evening, and go in for IUI on Friday morning.

The doctors are being very proactive in their monitoring, which is a great thing considering I don’t have to pay for it, but the driving is getting old.  I just keep thinking that getting up at 4am is preparing for the day when my baby comes home and keeps me up alllllllllll night long.

But really, 4am?  I hate you.  I haven’t wanted to see either side of 4am in years.  I want to be asleep when it’s dark, thankyouverymuch.

That being said, I will do whatever is necessary to give myself the best chance for success this cycle.  And, although it’s a lot of miles and minutes out of my day, monitoring things closely this cycle will help the docs be able to time things better for me next cycle.  For that, I am thankful.

Once I have a bit more info, I will update you all again.  Thank you, as always, to those of you out there cheering me on!  I couldn’t do all of this without the love and support of the husband, my friends and family, and my friends via intrawebs!

Status

Lunch Break Update – Mystery Meds!

February 16th, 2012.  CD8.

 

Hi friends.  I had a few minutes at lunch, and figured I’d update the good ol’ blog.

First, I hope you all had a lovely Valentine’s Day.  I left work early to make a special dinner for the husband, who had ordered me some BEAUTIFUL flowers to be delivered to my office.  Flowers that arrived promptly after I left.  Boooo… Valentine’s fail.

The flowers were just as lovely the next day though, and they continue to brighten up my desk space.  I love that husband o’ mine.

Next update I wanted to give, was that said husband is really liking his new job.  The commute hasn’t been bothersome thus far, and he has his own desk and phone and radio so he can walkie-talkie his little work friends.  I know it’s probably a lot more masculine and professional than that, but I like to think they have fun on the job.

Aside from that, the only other update I have is in regards to my Mystery Meds.  The bottles are very plain, and there’s no way to tell what I’m taking, but there are side-effects aplenty.

  • Headache – I mostly recall having these with Clomid, although it’s tough to say.  I’ve also been cutting way back on caffeine (read: one caffeinated beverage per day), and that could also be causing these special little showstoppers.
  • Nausea – I think this has passed, but who knows what fresh Hell tomorrow may hold.  It seems to be just in the morning after I take the pills, and is fairly easily controlled by piling food on top of said pills.
  • THIRST – My God, the thirst!!  This is straight-up Clomid 100%.  I was never this parched when I took Femara, and I cannot get enough water right now on this round of meds!  If this turns out to be Femara, it must be a higher dosage than I have taken in the past, because WOW.  …At least I know my kidneys are functioning properly!

My week has been fairly uneventful, and I hope to close it out with a spa/shopping/movie/dinner date with one of my besties who is coming into town this weekend!  I am super excited to spend time with her, and I am getting my first professional massage!

I have heard some things about getting massages at different times in your cycle, and was wondering if any of you readers have any suggestions about this timing.  I am coming into my fertile period and will probably have my IUI in 6 – 8 days.  Is now a good time for a massage?  Will toxins be sent spiraling out of control and screw up conception?

I mean, I want to feel relaxed, but I don’t want this little whim to ruin my chances on what is looking to be a really great IUI cycle…

Any input is appreciated!

Have a happy Thursday, friends, and I shall return with more updates soon.

Oh – and one more little note to all of my readers…

Thank you to all of you who take the time to follow my little journey, and thank you to those of you who have referred your friends and family members here.  I know I’m not the only woman going through this, and I know I have it better than many, but I certainly do appreciate every ounce of support – whether you’re a regular commenter, or a secret lurker.

Thank you all!!  :)

Randomization!

I don’t actually know what the process consisted of (because I was being wanded and bled dry while it happened…), but I have officially been randomized. The option I was chosen to take is a pill… Two per day for five days, to be exact.  I won’t find out what drug I took until after

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Pre-med.

Well, I’m in the car with the husband, on our way to the research office to give a bit more blood, have a quick beginning-of-cycle ultrasound, and to have my meds selected… I’m nervous, excited, and seriously craving caffeine right now.  I’ll update you all with news when I find out whether I’m taking the

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Image

The Infertility List

I know this list has been going around, but I think it’s a great idea.  I need to print a few of these off and keep them in my purse to hand out to nosy relatives (and complete strangers).

Hopefully after this research study, I will have a good reason to put one giant X across the page, crumple it into oblivion, and burn it for good.

Summertime Sadness

A safe space where I discuss the racing thoughts in my head, personal struggles, and day-to-day activities while struggling with mental health and mood disorder issues. My personal goal is to reduce the stigma that comes with mental health and mood disorders, by talking more about it.

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